The bottom of the cycle

Submitted by addicted_to_pron on
Printer-friendly version

I don't know about any of you, but as I have stopped PMOing and stopped smoking, I have noticed my life and general mood oscilating between cycles. I will feel really great one day, and like I've figured it all out, that I will get what I want, that the future is bright. And then some things will happen that is interpreted by you to mean you're not whatever enough to get what you want in life and you become sad and depressed. At this point you generally turn to PMO.

But without PMO, I have noticed that this cycle last longer and is more severe. The good times are insanely good, while the bad times feel really bad. Like all the problems upon you cannot be resolved happily. For me, mostly its women and whether our interaction with the girls I want to nail go well or badly. It's not that I want to be a pig or a player, but that's how I am sorta automatically now. Not that I get laid a lot, I probably get it like a few times a year with different girls, but usually there's no "love" in it. But getting them was definitely fun -- but the uncertainty and risk it exposed hurt like a bitch. Today is one of those bottom cycle days.

And when things are bad, it feels like everything is hopeless and then you strongly crave all your vices, be it PMO or booze or cigarettes. I am in such a mood right now. Just had like 3 cigaretts already tonight. Ironically, I just posted 2 days ago about how great things are. Shows you the swing! Now, victory is not sure... nothing is certain.