Today is day 46 of my new try to let go of the PM habit. So far it goes quite good although I had a fall back the day before yesterday. Till then I had only masturbted 3 times, but without porn which makes a huge difference (The only reason I did it was because I didn't have sex with my girlfriend for a while due to us being seprated). When I only focus on the sensations without indulging in mental fantasy's it feels much more like a wholesome experience and I feel it was good to let go of the excess energy.
It's been almost 3 years ago since I posted here. I never gave up trying to get rid of the PMO habit, but never could pull it off completely. My usual pattern was 2 weeks of abstinence and then indulging, which sometimes led to a binge and sometimes to another 2 weeks of abstinence. Containing seemed to be the best I could do. But recently I decided to give it a new shot and dusted off this account.
Yesterday my prostate gave me a hard time. I had often the feeling that I had to pee. I went home from the office early as I had trouble sitting still in my chair, in doubt what to do. On one hand I really want to succeed in not masturbating any more, on the other hand I don't want to make this into a tortue. Wasn't sexuality supposed to be enjoyable? I was in limbo.
I'm doing pretty well these days and I'm surprised about the ease about it. My mood is good, I feel more driven and outgoing and last weekend I had a ton of fun (and flirts) with a few women who I met on a weekend retreat. It was so good to actually connect with them, and they liked it too. It really makes me want to go out on dates again, so I know what to do now
On the other hand I sometimes fall down in a deep abyss of despair. I can deal fairly well with that and it won't last that long. I guess that more intense emotions, both positive and negative, are just part of the process.
Today is day 10 of my project to regain control over my sexuality and stop masturbating. It really goes well and my preparation seems to pay off (I wrote down my approach in the first post).
Sometimes it feels like I'm 'asexual' and a small fear comes up like :"Will everything still work when I meet a great woman?" But I only need to think a moment of some delicious goddess and what I would like to do with her, and there is an undeniable affirmative answer :)
So far, so good. Today I started to feel that 'itchy feelin'. Not very strong, but I find that my mind drifts more easily towards sex. And that brings me to an unsuspected drawback of this site: all those posts about sex make me really horny! Uh-oh.... I'm dammed if I do and dammed if I don't [schock]
In this blog I will post about my attempt to get back control over my sexual energy, foremost quitting masturbation. This is day 1, july 11th 2009!
I'm mid 30's and have masturbated regularly since I was 10 (once or twice a day). The last few years I have done several attempts to stop this habit, but succes was only temporary. This time I want to say goodbye to the habit for once and for all.