Boredom increases Stress! Day 59 going 60

Submitted by Aimee717 on
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HI Everyone!

I am on my 2nd month of PMO free with a few temptations. The worse has happened during my 3 days off over the weekend.

The 3 days off has brought me boredom and my stress has increased immensely. My sexual thoughts strike me anytime it has a chance to occupy my mind. Some of my online friends even showed off for me. Funny was that I found them rather boring, unlike before that I found it too exciting and gives me tingling sensation down under. Well I guess I am beginning to be really in control of my reaction to those stimulation. I also noticed that the more I get bored, or stressed, the more my sexual thought run wild. Sometimes I have depression tendencies out of boredom, and good thing is that I am now more aware how to react to these kinds of stresses. I still have compulsive moments. But I know it is part of the process of going to a full Recovery

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It's interesting

that we trust our intense sexual signals so completely...and yet, as we come back into balance, their intensity shifts. Sex can still be just as satisfying (even more so), but without the intense drama. Amazing.

The intense drama is going

The intense drama is going through my mind!

It strikes me most of the time the past few days of inactivity and boredom.
I went to looking at the picture of my ex bf. Feeling emptiness and all that depressive stuff.
All the drama even those drama that has nothing to do with the initial feeling of missing my ex ran amok through my mind. Everything tried to strike me as if I would give into going back. But good thing I am now aware how my brain works, that I am able to refocus on my goals, wants and the important things to achieve at the moment.
Lovemaking and relationship will come in the right time. I am still enjoying getting to know myself, getting rid of my bad habits, and getting there to Recovery.

Thank you for your support

believing our own thoughts

is the ultimate reason we suffer. It is so hard not to believe them. But by realizing that thoughts come as part of a process, you can see that they are not to be believed, and they don't cause you to suffer much. What a wonderful perspective to have. You are doing awesomely!

Thank you Everyone for your Encouragement and Support

Yep.
That's what I realized, that I shouldn't be driven to do nonsense actions by those mental drama.
I learned that my past will not define who I am, and that I am aware of my actions now, and not a slave of my compulsions and addictions. I am not a lesser person, because I am the child of God and that we are all created equal.
So being just positive and being grateful for everything keeps me in positive perspective.
Thank you