The Difference of ACCEPTANCE from EXPECTATION

Submitted by Aimee717 on
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Hello Everyone!

Another week has passed, another week of no PMO has endured, and I have not even recognized that I am 50 days PMO free!

I have blogged a few days ago that I feel a lot of frustrations around the forum because there are a lot of relapses that's been going on. And thanks to Emerson, and his encouragement, I am now able to write out another blog. What I write about are all based on my personal experiences, insights, and strategies that got me on my 54 days PMO free, and really not a difficult task.

As written on the title, The Difference of ACCEPTANCE from EXPECTATION, I came to discover that how we react to every situation is one of the keys to our Recovery.

What do we really want to happen in our lives? Our common ground is that we want to Recover and be free from our addictions. I am a PMO addict for so many years now, if I am not mistaken, almost half of my life I am an addict. Where does this Acceptance/Expectation come in?

Everyday of our recovery, some would say it is a "struggle", "challenge" , or "fight". Just by definition, we are already quoting it on an expectation pattern. We expect that we are able to overcome or beat out these problems. We are expecting that in a span of time, we can be free from our addiction. With expectation comes disappointments. Which leads to our Relapse. Recovery is not like a light switch that when you want it gone, it's going to be turned off. And everyday we have sexual thoughts, imaginations and all those temptations. But with our expectation to stay clean, we tend to beat ourselves up for having those thoughts, or we rationalize that we think we are gay/lesbian, or that we are failures, and the list goes endlessly.

However, when we say that our everyday to Recovery is a "wonderful journey" or "a way to a better life", is an acceptance that we have our addiction, and that we are taking our daily journey to let go of our addiction. Every day, we see it on a positive attitude to life, that when we are tempted, we can say, it's all part of our recovery. We don't have to beat ourselves up, since we accepted that it is a daily journey to have these temptations. And the longer we are able to stay away from our addiction the happier, the stronger, and the lighter we feel.

I hope I am making sense.
And that I am able to open up some minds to further understanding of how our brain works.
My brain is getting sleepy.
Take care my dear friends

Comments

You are most welcome Marnia!

You are most welcome Marnia!

I have still sudden thoughts about sex and all that. Temptations are going random in my mind.
Trying to calm myself. And go back to my Optimist's Creed.

Take Care everyone!

great insights Aimee

and I think the successful recovery comes when you can forgive yourself relapses and not get upset about it. It seems contrary to our intuition, because we think we have to punish ourselves if we relapse. But the results show that this is the wrong path. Forgiveness, just moving on, and not getting wrapped up in a relapse is really far more effective in the long run. And I think what you are saying here, is it's great to view this as a learning experience or progress, rather than "uh oh I've relapsed, I'm bad, I'll never get this" etc.

Thank you Emerson for

Thank you Emerson for explaining what I am trying to convey.

I would like to further expound that every action we take depends on what we really want to happen. Our strength to take a step to Recovery must come from within, and not be dependent on others. Not that I am saying we don't need our support system from family, friends and partners, but these support systems will be useless, if we aren't able to appreciate the strength we have from within. Our conscious effort to move forward and not be held back by our past mistakes, is one way of accepting that we are who we are, and that we now know what we are going to be. Our past will not define what kind of person we are today, but only molded us to who we are. We are still capable of doing great things not only for ourselves, but also to everyone around us. We are all given gifts and blessings, and it is a matter mastering our strengths, and not be frustrated by our weaknesses. To be aware of our addictions,accepting and loving ourselves is a key to not beating ourselves up during times of relapse.

I hope I got my message across. Thank you again everyone!
Blogs and insights later!!