Making Love To My Body - Can this be a Karezza Solo Experience?

Submitted by Aimee717 on
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This is my first time of Karezza (IN SOLO).

I really don't know if there is such thing as SOLO Karezza, but what I tried earlier today was different.

I was reading the responses of other members in this community with regards to my P/M/O addiction. And one of the response said that instead of masturbating, that I should caress my breasts lovingly. And so I did.

I copied this from my earlier blog. This was what happened.

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I tried to make love to my body. I like the sound (Making Love to My Body). I never thought I could feel great with your suggestion. I love my ex's hands on my breast. When he holds or caresses it. Our lovemaking then would be interrupted when he sucks them. There were times I don't feel tickles but most of the time it is so ticklish it ruins the moment. I only don't feel the tickle when I'm the one who touches it. But I never felt any loving sensation when I am the one caressing it.

Just earlier, after reading your suggestion, I made my first trial to MAKE LOVE TO MY BODY. It felt different from my masturbation. Before when I do clitoral stimulation, with nipple stimulation, it was good, but the sensation I felt earlier was more amazing than with just masturbation.

What I did. When I showered, I focused my loving caress to my body. I started with paying attention to my senses while I was massaging my scalp. It was really odd, my mind was still, my scalp was so receiving of the pressure from my fingers. It was an overwhelming feeling of joy. Was different, I can't put exact words to it. Then when I soaped my body, I focused to where my fingers would touch. From my neck going down to my feet. I massaged every part of me. Slow and steady. Not as if I was in a hurry. It felt so great.

I spent more time with my breasts as you have suggested that I caress them instead of my clitoris. It wasn't in a manner of grabbing them or trying hard to make my nipples hard (like the way I did before) but in a more loving caress manner. It was slow and steady and equal. It was an amazing feeling! I don't know how fast it was but I was so hard (no feeling of hunger on my clitoris). There were instances my mind would say "it's time to rub your clit" but I refocused my mind on my loving caress and sensation. It was really different.!
When I moved my hands to other parts of my body that needed my loving caresses, every sensation felt the same. I felt so good about my body.

When I was done with soaping and was washing. I was curious if what I did was right because it was my first try. So I checked, and I was amazed that I was wet! And my fluid was still oozing out of my entrance! I washed myself off, finishing my showering. And even after all the soap was gone, my wetness still continues to flow out. I continued making love to my body til I was drying my hair, my body with my towel, paying attention to the softness of the cloth. And even until then my wetness flows out.

I enjoyed it and not felt guilt about it. It made me appreciate my entire body as a whole and not as one part to the other.

It was a great experience.

Thank you

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Comments

Through the years

I have been in the position of being my own physical source - I can't accurately say that it was at times in life when I was free of my M/O addictions, whether as an O addict or the stress/anxiety/escapist-driven M/O issues, since looking back, both of those motivations have been rearing their ugly heads since I was 15/16. There have been brief periods of time when I was able to engage myself physically on a solo basis, that were peaceful/tranquil - those times are memorable as (in my perception) healthy because it was more a sort of whole body experience rather than being all about the O goal. I've come to realize more recently that for me as an individual - and this is something that my wife and I still have to work on - that I am a far healthier, saner individual if I stay orgasm free - the clarity can't be beaten. While we are still working on physically engaging with each other in ways that do not kick me into an orgasm-hungry mode - and we have an absolute ban on me going solo even with her there guiding me or keeping me focused on her while doing so - she' s still uncertain about it but still recognizes that it's a mode that works well for me. So I guess the relevant point is that yes, one can give one's self something beyond a lame conventional orgasm, and give one's self something more fulfilling despite the challenges of having to hold one's own leash on orgasm or fill a gap if there's not a current partner. Personally, what I think is the most important thing to be experienced from it is not even having the ability to guide a partner through one's own body and non-O pleasure centers, but it also gives the ability to understand what the non-O sensations and experience is like - it gives you the ability to have a sense of what you are in turn giving someone that isn't about the release.

Knowing Myself

Thank you!

Presently, looking for a partner is not my utmost priority. I know that for a fact, because during my self-processing, I discovered to have codependency issues. One of my immediate Recovery Plans is to become INDEPENDENT in some aspects of my life, that I found to be the source of my insecurities and anxieties.
So at this time, I am working on to have a stable job. Good thing I will start this September with my new one.
Once I am working, another wave of stresses and anxiety will inevitably happen, that is why I was wondering if there is such thing as Karezza in a SOLO form because, I intend to make it part of my ritual while I am single.
To get to know myself better, gain self confidence, and to eventually accept and love myself as a whole.

I feel that I have experienced Karezza with my ex-boyfriend (at least a little), that is why I am more focused on myself to really differentiate Karezza from O-based sex. Also, to appreciate my body without the lust or want to M and be able to harness myself from the slavery of the need to O.

I hope this one works for me.

Q: Is it right to say that Karezza is to be able to keep oneself in-check when one's body is heating up?

I suppose it is correct

to look at it that way. I went through an unexpected layoff in February, fortunately quickly started new job in March - but those stresses/anxiety definitely reared their ugly heads for that month, it was a VERY dicey time, and knowing that the stresses were going to arise hard and fast, is what gave me the ability to approach my wife with a solution that is working very well not just for short term stresses/escape, but also as the bigger picture. I think incorporating it as an individual would help create a foundation that could when you are ready be incorporated into a partner-based form.

Yes, saw that

And no, haven't forgotten that I need to review and update (if necessary) the energy moving, arousal soothing Taoist monk thing - admittedly, out of ignorance, I don't know if there is a female equivalent to those, I would certainly hope so because it's incredibly useful for maintenance/avoiding the needs/urges to M/O, as well as very good at defusing arousal/overheating when it happens.

Awesome

Since L's seen the positive results of them as both maintenance, defusing, and fulfillment in me, maybe this will be of help to her, many thanks.

Aimee

Regarding the self touch there's two schools of thought which i will try to summarise. You can read more all over the site, but as you are probably realising there are gigabytes of wisdom to be found there.

Dianne Richardson says that its not what you do but how you do it. The key difference is the intention, or awareness you have as you approach it. Hence getting to know your body more carefully more meditatively, noticing things that in the rush of excitement you dont normally notice is i find truly wonderful. Its like the difference between zipping along the highway at 60 miles and hour and riding a bike.

And of course its pretty easy to tell the difference between loving touch and 'excitement' touch. You know , i know, we all know. Fast, grabby etc. But one defining signpost i discovered is that the latter ALWAYS involves clenching the pelvic floor muscles.

Re holding the breasts, Dianne believes that for a women, getting in touch with the breasts is the key to getting in touch with your real sensitive inner sexuality. Rachel explains this better than i can, see her posting history.

Ok but the other train of thought is this. If you need to reboot, most people find that avoiding all self genital touch is best. Do you need to reboot? The answer to this is if you've used porn, or, have orgasmed say more than 1 or 2 times a week for any period of time, which over stimulates the brain. Another obvious sign is if you find it hard or impossible to not masturbate. These would be signs that your brain will benefit from a holiday period of no P, no M and no O. People usually do this reboot for 2 or 3 months, and treat it as one off brain rebalancing exercise.

And lastly coming back to what karezza is, as Marnia says above, the CPA message is really that daily touch with another person is the key to maintaining brain balance.

HTH.

Bonding

Well the jurys maybe still a bit out on that, Marnia will probably clarify.

As i understand what she says its that the benefits we get from bonding derive from an evolutionary perspective from the bond formation with ones children (as a parent) or ones parents (as a kid). We 'borrow' the hormone triggers from those experiences when we remember to engage in those sorts of behaviors with our SO's, but if you are the touchy type and your extended family, or friend circle are also then that must count surely. After all we evolved in tribes.

I guess theres no getting around the fact that to 'bond' you have to trust and be trusted, and hence the warm feelings of safety, recognition, understanding etc etc. If what ever you have in mind meets those needs then it'll probably work!

Failing that we probably have to look at what gets in the way of forming such bonds.

If that is the case then I

If that is the case then I wouldn't be bothered with not having a partner/boyfriend.

I grew up in not so much of a touchy family, but we do give hugs once in a while. Me and my friends too give each other bear hugs when we get to see each other. I can immediately sense a sincere hug from a "plastic" hug.

With regards to failing bonds, I think I have the tendency to be "choosy" with people whom I interact with.
I am one of those who believe in "First Impression Lasts". Sometimes by first meeting, I can immediately say that there's something not acceptable to that person. And most of the time I am right.

On the other hand, when I feel at ease with a person I meet in an instant, I can easily form friendships with them. In the case having a partner, comfort comes first. I think that is part of the First Impression thing.

To get back to the main topic of discussion. I hope being able to hug or being touchy with family and friends would create a sort of LOVE bond, and the sharing of loving energies too. I experience that with close friends and family.

Thank you

No worries

I forgot to add that karezza is also about managing sexual frustration long term. It provides a way to, on the one hand get enough sexual contact to not go crazy, but also without OD'ing and falling apart.

Aimee

It sounds like you have good "touch support" so you should be fine. In fact, your experiments of "making love to yourself" or playing with energy circulation practices (Energy Circulation Practices ) will be really useful for others here. Please keep posting about what works best for you. These exercises were developed by monks and nuns, so not everyone has a partner who learns to manage sexual energy better.

This site is partner-oriented because my journey began with the question, "Why are my relationships so fragile?" And that led to learning a lot about the effects of orgasm on the brain. But much of it is relevant in between partners too. And a "time-out" of some celibacy can be very effective during rebalancing...as long as you have other sources of touch and connection.

Good luck with your new job!

MY NEW JOB!

MY NEW JOB!

Thank you for the links you attached, I'll check them as soon as I have ample time to digest them.

Well for now I am really determined to do Karezza in a solo experience. Aside from the fact that soon, I will be leaving my family and friends, because I have to be away from home, and that I am not fully ready to get into a relationship as well.

While I was planning on to practice Karezza in Solo, I also came into conclusion that I must practice my "Making Love to My Body" at times when I feel happy and not in stress. My hypothesis is that if I do it when I feel stressed, I might transform it to a sort of kind of M which I might get addicted to in the long run.

I hope my plan works. I will keep you all posted for progress

Thank you everyone!

MY NEW HAIRDO!

Hi everyone!

Part of Loving myself, is finally I have got a new hairstyle that I always wanted.
Yesterday, i had my haircut done, and was feeling great about it.

I feel like I lost communication with what my body wants because I never got the chance to really take care of it.
I haven't had the chance to take good care of my body, because then I did not love my body.
The past few weeks even before I became a member here in REUNITING, i have done, a little loving to my body.
I had my nails done. But then I did not know it was already form of loving. That is why I am more excited to do more for my body. I had my haircut, yesterday. This coming Sunday, I will have my nails done again.
With regards to food, I am enjoying every bite I take. I am really so excited knowing that what I am doing now is because I love myself.

Thank you everyone for the support.
Updates be posted soon

Why I feel like I am Rebooting rapidly and more effectively

HI everyone!

My reboot (unofficial) is doing an up-down motion. Although I have no P/M/O episodes, my emotional state is on a see-saw. Up and down. I am still on hold with my mind and compulsive thoughts that is why there are no episodes.
And with daily positive small steps to my freedom, I feel that these little achievements makes me more confident I can do more!

I haven't written my schedule yet, however I have my checklist of to-do's that just finding things that I already done made me more confident to do bigger tasks!

As my departure draws nearer, my anxiety is having some time to make me go crazy. But then I remind myself that I have more important things to do that worry about it. Just this morning I received a call and made some of my worries to be solved. Oh well, so far everything is so so positive!

Thank you everyone!