Overanalyzing causes Stress/Anxiety/Frustrations

Submitted by Aimee717 on
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HI Everyone!

I was hoping to write out a blog yesterday, but my brain went blank for ideas that I used to have. So I gave myself rest from stresses and anxieties, and now I am now more enthusiastic about Recovery and sharing my insights with you my Reuniting family!

I noticed not only to how my brain thinks, but also to how everyone here shares their frustrations on their way to Recovery.
We analyze everything that goes to our mind. Unending questions that are in reality nonexistent and are caused by our paranoia of relapsing from our Recovery.

There was a time I had this vivid imagination about me and my ex bf having sex, and it really got me wet! I really felt guilty after, and with that guilt, a lot of questions overwhelmed my mind.
1. Am I not over him yet?
2. Am I that so bitchy that I get horny at the thought of him?
3. Am I a bad person?
4. Why am I thinking these things?
-and the list goes on, some are even not related to my initial thought.

And with that, we become frustrated and fearing that we already are Relapsing. We begin to have doubts about our Recovery. We also begin to lack strength of our will to Recover. Etc. Etc Etc. which can lead to our Relapse.

--- My dear friends, we shouldn't beat ourselves up if what we plan does not happen on the right time as we planned it. we should stay strong and positive that we can recover. We have to remind ourselves constantly that we do everything to Recover for ourselves and our loved ones. We remind ourselves that we are for the long term goal of happiness and bliss with our partners.

I hope I am making sense, and have helped
Thank you Reuniting family!

Comments

As always wise and positive words.

Overanalyzing is more a problem than a solution. Yesterday I started writing a mini-diary but not about thoughts, about actions. I'll write in just a few sentences the actions I've done during the day and the moments I felt better but without any questioning why. The goal is to take action, do pleasurable and healthy activities and keep away from the horrendous train of thought which was consuming me. Action is the key here (and tuning in again with the happiness and bliss that a closer and more loving relationship with ourselves and the world brings).

Right now I'm feeling sick and probably not strong enough but I do appreciate your enthusiasm and your positivity and I just hope I'll be getting there as well little by little.

Keep in mind

that as a pair-bonding mammal, you did not evolve to feel peace of mind indefinitely while you're on your own. That uneasy feeling is there to drive you toward a partner.

So be extra gentle with yourselves while experimenting with these ideas while on your own.

Yep

the only problem is that in my case the uneasy feeling also drives me away from the person I love due to the phobia and fear stuff... It's not easy battling against yourself but I'll keep on trying.

Thank You Marnia for the

Thank You Marnia for the Reminders!

I am still on my getting to know myself phase. Rest assured, when I feel that it is the right time to have a partner, I would take the initiative myself to get myself one. I still have tendencies to relapse, and I don't want that to happen. I am still in the process of gaining control of my thoughts, reactions and actions so that I will not relapse. I am also trying to figure out what do I really want in a partner, so that when I get into a relationship, it will last my lifetime.

@BUCLE
To be afraid, means you still have worries as to what will happen, and there you begin to be enslaved by your horrendous train of thoughts. But take your time. Stay in control my friend.

Another tip

To me recording a voice dairy, daily, is working in an interesting way. It does have a very peculiar feeling of speaking with no hope to get answered, and a the same time listen to your own voice quietly and, in some ways, listen to your thoughts quietly, as your voice is just a reflection of the mind... You don't need to speak for a long time.... just 5 minutes or so... is a nice 'experiment'.