There is a fine line between Expression and Release!

Submitted by Aimee717 on
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Hello Everyone!

I am on a bit lighter mood, although I have a few bouts of sadness here and there, I am refocusing myself on the brighter side.
It really is a difficult task, that I had to stay away from writing insights here in Reuniting so that once I share my insights, they are all in an unbiased mode. Not affected by any emotional turmoils that is been going on.

But this is an exception. Hahaha.

I did self-karezza for 2 consecutive days now, reconnecting myself to my love for my body, since I lost touch with it a few days back when my separation anxiety kicked in. I am reading my gratitude book so I am slowly back on track to complete positive attitude!

In my previous blog, I had a plan schedule to practice self-Karezza during happy times. But like I said, I did self-karezza for 2 days now and discovered that it is more pleasurable and more effective if self-Karezza is done during happy and positive times. Why did I say so?
I think what I did for the 2 consecutive times is not a complete expression of Love to oneself, but rather half was for expression of love for oneself, half is for the release of stress. It is sort of a lighter version of Masturbation, which I happened to be addicted to. Although I stayed away from touching my clitoris and focused on my breasts, it was still a great feeling, and I was even aware when to stop when I feel it is beyond Karezza and that I began to turn up the heat. As soon as my need to heat-up started, I completely stopped it. It was then I was so happy to find strength to it.

I also discovered, that arousal or heating-up is caused about by not taking deep breaths during caresses. I was really observing that taking in deep breaths makes me more sensitive of my entire body's reaction, not just the contact of my palms to my breasts. But when I didn't take deep breaths, and I felt I was heating up, and my sensation was focused on my vagina, and my breast alone. It wasn't a holistic experience! Thus I might suggest to practice Karezza when you are on a happier mood, and not because you need to release these pent-up hunger. If you need a little release and love, make sure you are aware when you are heating-up or feeling the love.
Sometimes we cannot spot the difference, except in our breathing.

Thank you god for an amazing day
Stay happy
Stay strong
We are all united and recovered
Love everyone!

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Comments

Thanks for the advice

I like what you said about practicing self-karezza during happier times so that you avoid making the connection between the activity and stress/loneliness. That way it doesn't become a crutch. I need to reread your initial self-karezza post to check out how it's done. Good work and thanks for today's positive thoughts!

Circulating

It is interesting to hear about your self-karezza experience. My karezza experience has been with a partner, so I'm not sure how this would work solo and I applaud you for your exploration of it.

I'm curious to know if your ability to breath deeply connects to circulating energy. I find that in order to keep myself present and to avoid an orgasm seeking mentality I have to circulate my energy so that it becomes dispersed throughout my body and not concentrated in my vagina (where the energy seems to accumulate).

Have you read any Chia or employed energy circulation? He speaks extensively about circulating and it's something that I've been experimenting with recently and I think it is very useful.

Thank you Everyone for your Encouragement and Support

Hey hey hey everyone!

I am so happy to have read your encouragement and support, knowing that I inspire others too!
Thank you thank you thank you for that everyone!

Yes Marnia, taking in deep slow breaths is a good way to avoid heating up. Because the focus on the breathing sensation and the touch, rather than the heating up that is centered between the legs. Also taking in deep breathing exercises while doing Karezza is more of a loving to oneself, because you are more into the good feelings you have for your body. The loving feelings you share with every touch. I immediately felt the difference and the sudden shift because when it is not going to the Karezza way, my brain is incessantly pop out words of guilt and anxiety. Meanwhile, if it is going to the Karezza experience, you don't think! Instead you feel the greatness of the warm and loving touch!

Enlightenmentgirl, there is no standard as to how to experience Solo-Karezza. I think the common denominator for that is to keep one's hands off the clitoris or the vagina, and instead focus on the sensations on caressing the breasts. Might as well encourage to give your body a few self massage. That way, oxygen can go everywhere around the body. Focus on the feeling and sensation. Focus on taking in the air through your nose, and feel it going to your lungs, expanding your lungs etc. Don't think! Just feel where your hand goes. Just make sure not between the legs. And with every feeling, feel the love you give to your body. Be thankful for your nice body, skin, eyes, whichever you touch be thankful and say you love it. It is a great experience.

Lucky, thank you for that suggestion. I will look into it when I get the time. I am taking things slowly so maybe it might take weeks if not months.
I will update everyone!

Thank you thank you thank you everyone
stay happy
stay positive!

Thanks for Inquiring Marnia

About the big move, well I have been packing and unpacking.
My separation anxiety with my ex boyfriend is still there. I am just keeping my focus on the blessings that I am enjoying everyday. However the size of each blessing, I enjoy. I even act as if like a child some times. Enjoying my walks going to the train station, or just stopping and look at the skyscrapers and all. That way I am able to just be positive.

There are still times that I really want to contact my ex-bf. I am so inclined as to hear from him assure me that he is going to be fine when I leave. I already made it clear to both of us that once I step on the airplane, he has no right to expect a romantic relationship from me. That is why while I am still here, I wanna know how he is. But a part of me doesn't really wanna hear from him, because what if the answer I expect to hear from him is not the answer he is going to say? I still have a few more days left to really see if I will have one more big courage to talk to him or not. Until then, I don't worry much already. Unlike a few days back that really shifted my mood.

I feel so great today because I already accomplished so much of my processing and that I am to collect my ticket, and everything is all set for next week's big move! My stuff are almost complete, just a few more things on my shopping list. I already have communicated to my family and friends and all that. So I am already set. This is not my first time to work abroad from my family, so it's nothing new. I have been in and out of town/country almost every year, so they are used to me being away already.

Thank you everyone!
I have a new discovery regarding Solo-karezza! and a few insights too.
Maybe I will get them posted during the weekend. If I am not too busy!

Stay happy
Stay positive
Stay in LOVE

P.S. Marnia, I still have no clue what you meant on my question about Courtly Companion

Re: Your ex-boyfriend

This is hard, because I have been in a similar situation. In my case, I emailed my ex to find out how he was doing and he very politely but firmly let me know he was fine but we were not going to see each other anymore. Sure, it hurt, but it also took the fantasizing about a reunion off the table. I responded by letting him know I was sorry for what I had done and I wished him the best for the future. And that was it! Out of self-respect, I didn't pursue, wheedle or force a connection that was no longer there. I might be lonely and desparate but at least I have some self-regard and concern for my dignity.
So if you can contact him with good wishes and no secret agenda, fine, do so. But if you fear he will try to guilt trip or manipulate you into returning to him, don't. Or at least in your next reply, you have to be the one that closes the door to that type of relationship. Wish him the best but don't go back. On the other hand, if you are the one who fears you will communicate with him in hopes of rekindling the affair, don't do it. If you can't contact him selflessly, better to let him go, period, and send loving thoughts to him about his health and happiness in meditations and prayers.

And I am fascinated to hear about your latest discovery about self-karezza and look forward to your insights.
YOu stay happy, stay positive and in love, Aimee717!

Thank you for that

Thank you for that encouragement enlightenment girl!

I have been really busy lately with things and the big move that I felt my separation anxiety got in the way with it.
I have the tendency to worry about people (close to me) and my friends and family already assured me that everything's going to be fine. Except for the ex. Although the last time we had time together which was 5months ago, it was only him who was doing all the talking and that I didn't had the chance to air my thoughts. Which was odd on my part because I really am a vocal person in terms to our relationship.

My separation anxiety is on a low level now. I am already a bit on the acceptance part and a little trust in God and fate that he will be okey. And that he has his family who will take care of him.

Thank you everyone again miss enlightenment girl. I will just say this to myself THIS TOO SHALL PASS. And this time, this will pass for good.

Insights soon!
Thank you everyone
I am so happy
I am so positive
It is like singing in the rain, oh what a glorious feeling moment for me.
There's no rain, but the bright warm sunshine will do the trick!