Relapsed after 100 days. Need help!

Submitted by Alchemyst on
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Hi guys,

during the last more than 100 days, my life completely changed. Inside and outside. I found a wonderful girlfriend and we are very much in love for over three months now.

Problem is: I relapsed :(
Two weeks ago on monday, I masturbated without orgasm while looking on some girl pictures on the net. One week ago, again on monday, this scenario repeated itself. Then on friday I watched some soft porn and masturbated again. And today I had one more session.
Every time I'm more and more frustrated. I feel the porn is tightening it's grip once again. I have great fear about loosing everything what I have achieved during the last year (I had more than three atempts to stop PMO) and especially my beautiful relationship! The day after I always have social anxiety and I see that my girlfriend is feeling it. I also fear I'll have ED againg (so far it has been ok).

Almost every time I sit in front of the computer I soon begin to feel a great pull to touch myself and to find some porn stuff (i have a porn blocking sw but i manage to find some soft stuff nevertheless).
I have to use the computer for my work, so I can't just turn it off.

Please help!

Thank you

Comments

how much time with bonding behaviors

are you spending with your girlfriend?

The key to avoiding porn is bonding behaviors, and also, replacement behaviors.

Bonding behaviors build up oxytocin and make it easy to avoid masturbation and porn.

Replacement behaviors are things you do instead of what PMO does for you, the job PMO does for you being replaced by something else.

 

Thanks emerson,

Thanks emerson,

yes, we do bonding behaviors. A lot.
So far I thought I'll never need porn again. I already have everything I need.
I dropped my meditation practices for a while, I see it is time to start again. Meditation was always a great help on my journey (and it raises oxytocin too).
Maybe I feel stressed because my life changed so much and porn seems like something I know very well. I don't know. I'll look into it.

How can you avoid sitting at the computer?

Seriously. You may only need a few days to get past The Pull. Do whatever you have to. Have you tried this program?

http://visitsteve.com/made/selfcontrol/

Or this one:

Cold Turkey is a productivity program that blocks sites for up to seven days using the free version. I found that opendns is too easy to access and change the settings to unblock, so I've set opendns to block all porn and nudity sites and then set cold turkey to block my access to opendns. You can also buy cold turkey for five dollars and that gives some extra features like blocking certain programs from running on your computer and blocking for up to a month. I think it's worth the small investment and I've done this so I can block [my habitual chat site] from running and block my access to opendns for longer. The website is www.getcoldturkey.com/

RED X?

Cold water anyone? Cold water technique

Don't throw your life away for short-term jollies. Smile

Thanks for the sugestions

Thanks for the sugestions Marnia, I'll look into it. I was a bit desparate when writing my last post, but now I'm calmer. Nevertheless porn is (and maybe it always will be) a danger in my life. Even after 100 days of happiness.

My advice

Resume your meditation practice, start doing regular exercise (at least 3-4 times a week), make sure you get enough sleep, and slow down your breathing throughout the day.

Also, try to catch your urges and excuses as soon as they arrive in your mind. Do not wait until the very last moment to stop them. Catch them early on and then imagine yourself regretting your decision after relapsing.

Stay alert. Be vigilant.

Do not try to repress your urges and horniness. Embrace them. You did not relapse because you had urges. You relapsed because you let those urges take control over you.

Feeling horny is nice. Enjoy that feeling. Enjoy that energy. Don't release it or waste it with porn.