I realize that I have a lot of anxiety so I apologize for that...
Anyways, something has changed and I feel sick and troubled by it. Things were great, wonderful even. And then they weren't. Both of our attitudes completely shifted away from the positive place we had been. The past few weeks we had been so happy on our new journey and completely in union with each other.
This weekend however, I found myself wanting to be completely controlled by him sexually. And while this is not the first time I've had thoughts like this, it is the first time either of us acted on it. I am having a difficult time understanding whether this is healthy sexual exploration or a very negative thing. It wasnt that it was particularly rough, but mentally he was in complete control. It was arousing for both of us and on one had it seems good that we are now comfortable enough with each other to do different things or act on fantasies. Yet it left me feeling confused. While I found it both sexually and mentally satisfying I also felt further away from him. It seemed like such a different level of connection than what we had experienced with the gentle lovemaking. But we stayed non-orgasmic throughout.
I guess I am just not sure where this came from and if this has a place or not within karezza.