Submitted by alex_is_bonding on
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A few years back I was introduced to Thomas Campbell's "My Big Toe." In it, he discusses how fractals exist at every level of reality. The most basic fractal is evolution, which he colorfully states as "grow or die." I've been thinking of the fractals that exist in bonding. I've come to realize that if I want to experience a deeper bond with my wife, I need to bond with everything. My morning coffee, the jazz music that I listen to on Pandora, the sun coming through the leaves, the work that I do, and even the movements of my body through physical space.

Now, when I say bond, I mean "connect with." Those on this website understand the difference between connecting with another human being and using the other person for short-term physical pleasure. But, if I'm using all of those other things for momentary pleasure, how is it that I'm going to show up to bond with my wife? If how we do one thing is often how we do everything, then what I do every moment counts. To experience the beauty of the moments during a bonding exchange, I have to be willing to change the way I live. I need to appreciate each sip of coffee, each piece of sunlight in the back yard, and each breath of air. I need to embrace the big buzzword of our metaphysical times: gratitude. I need to be more grateful. Period. Gratitude removes the fog of self-absorption that gets in the way of connecting with our bonding partners.

So for me - more gratitude, less self-absorption, and more bonding with life itself.



Makes Great Sense

I have found that inspiration and direction often comes from sources that, logically, one would never anticipate. On the surface, to me, it appears that fractals have little to do with human pair-bonding. But, each of us sees the world, or a given fact pattern, a bit differently. It is wonderful that the fascinating concept of fractals has led you to better understand that living in the moment and embracing gratitude will lead to a stronger, deeper bond with your wife.