Day 7 and thoughts on sexual orientation

Submitted by Anam cara on
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Today I composed a long detailed clinical description of my sexual orientation today, then found there was no courage to share it here. All along I've written here as if I have complete privacy, but it's safe to assume I do not. The habit of secrecy is strong with years of practice; I automatically self-censor when my bisexual orientation could be spoken of; I ignore signs it's safe to be open in favour of fear, secrecy, and shame about my attraction to both genders.

When I talk to other bisexuals their apparent ease and comfort in their orientation strikes me as weird and fake. I want to be more open, but I cannot. Today the option to share about it with one of my best friends came up and I suppressed it without a thought. That's just how it is right now.

I've started sharing with other PMO addicts today, too, which brings up the fear of relapse. I try not to second guess my decisions; each day I decide and affirm my top and bottom lines. I trust God AND put in the action! and it's working, thank God. Day 7... a miracle! Smile

Edit: I've decided to just set aside thinking about bisexuality til later. Things will look different with more time up.