Break Fast

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on
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"90 Days of Not Asking" Done! there were some failures but many lessons learned.
Day 1 and the questions are flooding over me, a fountain of pent up inquiry gushes forth. I am a running dog off leash. But I know there is some good in this Not Asking. I know I would seek out my Izzy before even attempting to find my own way (particularly if I needed help getting out of a dark place...horny place...need for love place). So the fast was good for that, finding ways to feed myself. BUT! No Ask = No Sex....yikes! The dam has burst. I can ask, and so crazy horny shit is coming out. Not Asking and my libido was way down, now, sex is just about all I can think about. I've gone back to fantasizing about sex with Izzy, such vivid wonderful enticing thoughts. I even wanted porn (ya know, one thing leads to another).
So, I pulled back and told myself, "One question" better make it a good one!...so many. "So Izzy, it's been 90 days of me not asking for anything" She says, "I thought it was just not asking stupid questions". "Yeah, yeah, that too, but how was it for you?" "Wonderful!" Holy shit, what am I gonna do?
Tell ya what I'm gonna do. I learned to check myself in the asking. I plan to use that skill to cut back and judiciously choose any inquiry. Make sure the question is important and keep the frequency way down. "Hey, I heard about this dice game...." (sood)

Comments

Congratulations

on making it through. What about asking if a 5-minute skin-to-skin snuggle per day would work? Tell her you think it would help you stop the constant begging.

And think hard (er...) about whether you really want to fantasize to drive those cravings sky high. You may not control your sex life, but you may have a lot of control over your suffering from unmet fantasies...by not falling back into the habit of driving up your dopamine/cravings. Chances are, the real balm you're seeking comes from daily bonding behaviors. Work on getting them. At the very least, think about confining your fantasies to them.

Remember, "brains are plastic," and you're the trainer.

Finally, you know about "the chaser," right? Do You Need A Chaser After Sex?

Good Morning

Thank you. Yes, I call it "jacking myself up" and, indeed, it is best avoided. My new skills and discipline will help. Fantasizing about BB's....that's a new one. I'll give it a try.
I know, deep in my soul, that 5 minutes of skin-to skin would be healing on so many levels. Izzy is not one for commitments. She grows resentful of the obligation. We'll see....Can you train a running dog with love?