Aphrodites Chela's blog

Frustration

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

A couple of weeks past my last depression. This is so frustrating. I know what to do. I've had success...but I keep sliding back and forgetting....and I want so much. I'm even thinking about finding someone to karezza with if she doesn't start showing up (Boy, that sure will help our marriage).
The latest "deal" is that I am not to bother her in bed prior to 9:00 AM unless she declares she is not trying to go back to sleep. That's a hell of a deal right thar....

Don Miguel Ruiz

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

Just finished The Mastery of Love. This guy put me off at first but it's a quick read and there are some real gems to be found. I have trouble with Ruiz's writing style, "It is like this....You are like that....". He claims the Toltec tradition but he sure sounds some kind of Christian to me....so I didn't really get hooked until chapter 9 "The Divine Huntress" (Artemis & Hercules...gimme that old time religion....) and followed by "Seeing With the Eyes of Love" and "Healing the Emotional Body" knocked my socks off. I recommend start with those 3 chapters and read more if you need to.

Louise L. Hay

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I just got a beautifully illustrated copy of "You Can Heal Your Life" (1999). She makes a great case showing the harm we do ourselves by how we think and the thoughts we carry. I am inspired by her words and feel the truth of them....BUT I've got some major history blocking my full embrace of her healing claims (cure cancer, for instance). My father's father, who I never met, was a Christian Science Practitioner. He's the guy you sent the buggy for if you got sick (Reno, NV circa 1890-1920). I grew up seeing CS as a strict code of denial.

Christiane Northrup, MD

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

Just read Dr. Northrup's nice little book (168 pages) "The Secret Pleasures of Menopause". I ordered it from the library as part of my libido project to get my wife more interested in sex. The success of that project is my presence here. She's close to the mark about health and pleasure. She includes orgasm with a "you can if you want" kind of attitude. Her chapter "The Seven Keys...." is an excellent guide and has given me lots of simple stuff to work with. She describes simple breathing exercise from Siada Desilet with a helpful picture ( I am a visual learner).

Still on the Wheel

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

5 months on the path, 4 orgasms, still trying to figure out karezza, Moita, addiction and Deida.
Thank you all so much for your support.
I'm going down again, even without orgasm hangover.
Deida strong (wrong) I said "No" when she asked for help and got an elbow next time I got too close.
I get so desperate when she pulls away. That was Friday, I've apologized, we've talked, but by Sunday I was a mess. Thinking about leaving, wanting to charm someone (not her) into fixing me....Couldn't find an affirmation to save my life.

Benefits of Reproductive Sex

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

Last night a new one came to us
There is not a more beautiful baby in this world
We watched our daughter, in her labor, go from agony and defeat to ecstasy and delight within moments of giving birth.
Oxytocin Rules!
Praise the Gods and Goddesses!

She has no name, yet
The crazy I-Ching Oracle has names for the hexagrams...Progress, The Power of the Great, etc.
I asked for an oracle for the New One...the answer, 22
Grace

Blessings on us all

Patterns

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

Nice massage/karezza on Sunday. Monday I back off, sated and not wanting to bother my love. Tuesday's schedule prevents our seeing each other until 9 PM. At bedtime, after the briefest of kisses, with my keen sight I perceive I am no longer welcome in her bed. It's normal and I am a little hurt. What to do with the hurt? First-worst impulse, blame her for not being loving. It's annoying to still be doing that, but I let it go real quick. I want touch, it looks affectionate, and it's bonding (Right?) but what nice little Moita's did I do? 5?

Depression

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

4 Months on the path, 4 orgasms, and I don't remember how long it's been.

Facing some age related failures this weekend sent me into a mild depression...4 days and I'm coming out....but I am ever impressed with how fragile we are ...well maybe not all of us. Not having orgasm to fix me, I was kind of left on my own. Too down to ask for help...but got some cuddling last night...pretty wonderful. It's one sided tho and I wish it wasn't.

Nice to hear from some other guys in relationship working through this stuff.

So You Call This Sex?

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

she says to me. We had lain together about 15 minutes. As usual me caressing and kissing her worshipfully, a brief back rub exchange, and then I entered the holy of holies. She was ready and our time was up (she requested a brief, limited encounter). Gracious and happy I offered withdrawl. She said, "What's the point? Why get all worked up and stop?" Neither of us was particularly hot and it was her choice to stop. I responded with my deep understanding of karezza, "Uh, to unite the male and female within and make us whole."
"I am whole."

In the City

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on

I live a rather insular rural life. At home I am involved with my wife, and in town I always see someone I know.
Monday and Tuesday I was alone and anonymous in the city. The temptations abound. 96 degree heat and the college girls aren't wearing much clothes. The working women are looking really smart in their suits. So many interesting people on the tram. Will she look?
Complimentary cocktails at the hotel. Who's at the bar?
Lonely boredom. Who's alone? staying the night?
Cable TV and broadband internet...just keep clicking.

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