Arnold's blog

Anger Again

Arnold's picture
Submitted by Arnold on

I've been having some interesting experiences related to repressed anger these days.

I often seem to have run-ins with large heartless bureaucracies who seem completely oblivious to my needs and yet impact my life heavily. My anger around this dynamic can be incredibly intense (intense enough to cause quite noticeable deterioration in my physical health). I sense a link to my very early youth (I grew up in the shadow of a very large and powerful bureaucracy) and the challenges I face finding cuddle buddies and a partner for intimacy and healing in the present.

Needs too

Arnold's picture
Submitted by Arnold on

As I continue to work on healing myself the theme of uncovering repressed anger has been coming up for a week or so now. It's challenging, because I generally don't feel it strongly enough to really figure out where it's coming from in a way that I can do anything about. The effect on my body is pretty extreme though (I'm pretty clear that the fistula I'm currently working on healing is connected to repressed anger in me (a fistula is a hole in the intestine caused by bacterial infection that, in my case, bored it's way through my skin to the outside of my body).

Day 1573

Arnold's picture
Submitted by Arnold on

I had some time with my friend today. It was good to spend time with her. I really enjoy her presence. She seemed, as I suspected, less than completely comfortable with the 3 week sleeping together routine. She's coming from a place that is strongly focused on my healing. All very nice, but she would be working pretty hard to keep herself removed from her own needs with that perspective. She's proposing some kind of other healing routine with number of the people from the healing touch group we attend. I'm open to it.

♥Day 0- 1572

Arnold's picture
Submitted by Arnold on

Ok. This is my first stab at blogging. I've started at day 1572 (today) because that's about how long (4 years and 16 weeks) I've been exploring Marnia's ideas and inviting others to explore it with me. Finding a partner to do even 3 weeks of the non-sexual Exchanges is something that I have not yet been able to create. (This part of the Exchanges is important to me due to its potential effect on healing the effects of early childhood bonding trauma.) I'm looking forward to connecting with other members of this on-line community.

Pages