Dream Vividness and our ancestors (and a skincare question)

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Hi all. Another dream post here I’m afraid (Jungians anonymous).

Sadly I haven’t been recalling more dreams since I quit orgasm, but the ones I do remember are increasingly vivid. If my experience is typical then I believe us 21st-century O-chasers have been locked out of an important area of the psyche - but I’m only an amateur folklorist so let's hear your thoughts. :)

When we were both 17, a friend of mine was killed in an accident. It was the last day of school (around this time of year), so the news reached me 2 days late – it had happened on my street. I went into shock and I was unable to grieve - I missed the funeral. It was too much to visit his grave but equally I couldn’t cry. Months went by and I still couldn’t – as the event moved into fact I just accepted it. Thoughts of him grew less frequent, as I suppose they must.

Yet last night, he was there. It was a dream but the joy of reunion was intensely real. He said he was alive quite cheerily and I didn’t question it all, just embraced and kissed him. Anyway, I don’t mean to present a dream diary – the point is this: you know how dreams are often quite hazy round the edges? This wasn’t. I have never before had a dream so powerful that it challenged waking reality. This time I felt I was being subtly instructed in some deeper truth, compared to which the daily errands haven’t matter much – not even drawing my CV.

As a singer in the oral tradition, I can tell you our forefathers were pretty obsessed with nightly visitations and supernatural lovers – ghosts appear in loads of the best songs, always to their dear ones at night. Normally I’d think “well they’re a good dramatic device” – but I now wonder if this was actually a common experience among our balanced hypersensitive ancestors. Perhaps if I lived in another time I’d perceive last night’s dream as real? I’m pretty sure it’s only technology-addiction that prevents me from entertaining that possibility now -- the joy of seeing him was just like the joyful reunions in the old Christian hymns, for instance.

Right then, voodoo session over. Here’s a Q about testosterone and skincare

I don't know if us males get more testosterone from retaining our seed, but this has to be the case for me. Almost immediately I had:

-chest hair (thought my pattern would be settled at 22!)

-occasional hot-headedness (not so desirable)

And now my skin is very greasy, like I’m a teenager again. Have any of you noticed this, and may I ask you how you prevent it? i am dreading the spot outbreak.





I'll assume you're not eating junk food...

Sometimes when people go through any kind of "detox" or healthy lifestyle change, they break out. The theory is that toxins are coming to the surface. I don't know if that's ever been proven, but I have seen it happen a lot with people on fasts, cleanses, or new diets (along with people who are quitting alcohol or caffeine). I've even seen it with couch potatoes who start exercising.

If you have a Lush store nearby, they have a product called Grease Lightning that works better than anything else I've ever tried for preventing and treating breakouts - it's inexpensive, and a little goes a long way. It can be drying, though, so test it first.

No junk food

except cheese and crackers, and greasy Italian bread in great quantities, and baked cheese in the manner of my people. Yeah, it'll be hard giving up cheese.

Interesting observation. I've cut out caffeine, food after dark and alcohol (by coincidence) at the same time as orgasm - but that was 44 days ago now. Strange time to suddenly break out?

Well of course there's a Lush in town. Will check it out - it'll certainly beat the surgical spirit I used to apply when I was a teen! Thanks. :)


After trying to quit MO, I noticed some extra chest hair for sure too. For the first time in my life, I also had to buy clippers for nose hair, I never thought I had any until recently.

I have also been suffering hairloss for last 10 years, so I am hoping I might be able to regrow some of that too.


if it's testosterone or not. Doesn't that usually trigger male pattern baldness? My dad's side are all large, sporty balding men - on my mum side the men are effete intellectuals and they all have glorious white manes.

It's incredible that frequent M+O can suppress chest hair, isn't it? Makes you wonder if there are more long-term physiological consequences.

more hair, no acne problem, better workouts

much more hair growth, faster hair growth, a bald spot has started disappearing on my head. Facial hair grows much faster.

No acne problem or increase in acne.

What's been awesome is GREAT workouts, much better than ever! I recover faster, exercise is much easier and I can do better, faster, heavier...way better than ever before in my entire life. It's amazing.

Excellent progress

Hi there emerson.. i am really happy for your hair regrowth, i know how frustrating it can be to deal with hair loss. i am also a person affected with hairloss from over-masturbation. From your experience that hairloss due to masturbation is temporary, is that right? I am 21 now and have been masturbation since the age of 13 but it has been extreme in the past 3 years. However i have been trying to stop. How long did you have to go without PMO to see your results with your hair?

Hair Growth, Working Out and Skin Care

Finally a topic for which I am uniquely qualified; I may not be an expert on Karezza, but I do know body hair and working out. What you are seeing is mostly your own genetic clock and make up.

Hair Growth. First some background, I am an American of Northern Italian heritage. Every Italian knows the distinction in regional differences; the north is typically more “Germanic”, we are taller and fairer skinned than those towards the south. But one thing all Italian men seem to have in common is most have an abundance of body hair. I am 6-foot 4-inches, wear a size 14-shoe, about 205-pounds, have dark hair and eyes. My dad’s family has darker features; my mom is “blonde-ish” and of my two brothers, both younger, one is darker like my dad and the youngest is blonder than my mom.

I have pretty thick leg and arm hair, which I used to be self conscious about. My first date with my girlfriend when we were in high school I wore a long sleeve shirt so she wouldn’t notice how hairy my arms are. This of course was pretty ridiculous because we were in all the same classes during the day, like I thought she didn’t it notice then.

I think I started getting chest hair when I was just barely 17. It started in the middle of my upper chest and didn’t take long to pretty much cover my pecs and upper chest. My lower stomach and abs followed but the hair there is not as course. I played varsity baseball all 4-years of high school. One day a week in off season we did half of a 5K run. The seniors ran without our workout shirts, why I have no idea, tradition I guess. Because of my height and hairy chest I got a lot of Sasquatch jokes, the size 14 shoes didn’t help that either. Even most of the other seniors didn’t have chest hair, like one other guy had anything really noticeable.

Probably because I have darker hair, it shows up more and maybe it is more prevalent at an earlier age. Both my brother and I had to start shaving when we were around 13 almost 14 years old. But my youngest brother that is 14 and blond shows no sign of needing to shave and his leg and arm hair is not as pronounced. Last month he was sort of complaining about not shaving yet and my girlfriend said that will make his future girlfriend very happy. My mom said, “Boy you aren’t kidding on that one.” She has commented that my dad’s genes have “marked us”. Although my mom’s brother has a fair amount of body hair and he has light brown hair, just I think I didn’t come in as soon as my dad’s side of the family.

As a comparison, my 18-year old brother is maybe an inch shorter than I am. My 14-year old bother is already as tall as I am and I was not this height until I was 16. Whether puberty and start of body hair has anything to do with continuing to grow I think can be some subject of debate from what I have read.

I can tell you from locker rooms playing baseball and working out at the gym and dorm showers I have seen a bunch of naked guys. I don’t think you are abnormal at all. I would be on the end of the spectrum that got hair early; you would be more towards the other end, but definitely not at the end. My roommate that is my age started getting upper chest hair this last year—he told me that I was contagious.

If I remember bio class correctly, your adrenal glands kickoff the testosterone which causes your body to go into puberty and produce body changes. Lack of testosterone will definitely delay puberty. But what really determines body height, build, hair, etc. are you genes—it is what your ancestors looked like. Acceptance that your genes are going to determine how you look made me less self conscious about being taller and hairier than most people. It is harder for people in high school because everyone wants to be an individual but no one wants to be different. As I got older more guys, like you, got hairier arms, legs and chests, all of a sudden I fit in because the other guys caught up.

One final comment on hair, my girlfriend is totally cool with my chest hair, etc.—she says it makes me very masculine. But when she read your blog posting she said if not having orgasms makes me any hairier she is going to make me cum twice a day—she thinks I have enough hair.

Body Building and Workout. You didn’t specifically ask but Emerson and I think someone else mentioned it. Now for the body building and workout, before high school I was a bean pole. I was tall, skinny, and had big feet—any question why I was self conscious about how I looked. Oh yeah and if that wasn’t bad enough I had a buzz cut. When I got to high school our baseball coach got everybody into shape. We started cardio and then strength training. This is the only way to do it, in that order.

Start with cardio which means running—yeah I know you hate running, so do did everyone on the team. The key is to build up; most people overdo the first day and give up. If there is a school with a dirt track near you go walk it, then run it. The walk will get you acquainted with the track and ease you into the workout. Next day just run the track plus maybe a quarter of the track. If you are comfortable, each day add a little more to the track. You need to run, not jog. You should run fast enough that it you can barely talk—if you can carry on a conversation you are not running fast enough. After you can go around the track a couple times you can branch out and run somewhere else where you will not get as bored.

After a couple weeks of cardio you will have your body to where you can do strength training and have it do some good. You can go to a gym—you do NOT need a personal trainer—or you can do pushups, crunches, etc. in your living room. Whichever you do be consistent. Keep a record of your workout, how many sets, reps, etc. An overall gradual increase is better than “steps”. Do one more each day until you hit a plateau, don’t do 5, 10, and then 15. Your workout should always be just a little bit uncomfortable and never work the same muscle 2 days in a row.

A good routine for you will depend upon the time you can commit but I would suggest alternate running and workout. Available time may dictate otherwise. If you can both run and workout daily that is even better. Just do something every day whether you feel like it or not.

To build muscle you will need a good protein diet, eat carbs for energy. Yeah, I am Italian you knew I was going to get pasta in there somewhere. Look for decent workout diet on the internet—mostly get rid of junk food and empty calories. There are all kinds of supplements you can take; the jury is still out on most of them. If you pick up a copy of Men’s Health or some workout magazine there are a million and one of those things advertized. Some are more popular than others, take a look at them and see if you want to try any. Whey Powder and Muscle Milk are both popular. Be careful with supplements and vitamins, often they mess with your stomach and intestines—Nothing like trying to do a squat and having a Hersey squirt.

Skin Care. If you cut out the junk food and workout, that will be a good portion of the battle towards better skin conditions. Processed food and junk food just has a lot of stuff in it that shouldn’t be ingested by any living being, several people have mentioned that. I want to look at Rachel’s links when I get a chance, sounds like dairy may be a problem also.

When you workout you sweat, or you aren’t really working out. When you sweat after a workout you bring all kinds of crap out of your body. After a workout, shower and scrub yourself—especially greasy areas like your face. When I played baseball I washed my hair every day after practice or a game. I know this sounds like common sense but I know a bunch of guys that were not religious about doing it and they were the ones that had skin problems.

Another point that relates to hygiene, if you join a gym take a couple of towels to wipe down the machines. Wipe them down before the workout and after. Nothing worse than putting someone else’s sweat on your body—yuck!

Ok dude I know this is sort of long—you probably think I am practicing for my doctoral dissertation. You seemed to lack confidence in your previous post; I told you how goofy I looked as a freshman in high school. Not only that I was in AP (Advanced Placement) classes—they just stuck a dork sticker on me. Fortunately I grew out of it in a year or so. According to Marnia you look pretty good already—hardest thing is to convince ourselves of that. Try working out, you will be healthier and feel better. I think once anyone does that they feel better about themselves and are more confident.


Maso, just remember if you're trying to avoid dairy to look out for things that contain whey (such as whey protein powders). It's a byproduct of milk. You really have to read ingredient lists carefully these days because they try to put milk and its by-products in *everything* (which is why I try to eat mostly whole foods).

Watch the Supplements

I know that is a problem with all sorts of supplements, not just those for workout and body building. The manufacturers put all kinds of crap in them, most of dubious value. They like to use chemical names for the stuff so that you don’t know what it is and it sounds very scientific but probably translates to “dirt”. When I was really working out heavily in high school a bunch of us tried different stuff. A lot of my friends that were on other teams followed blogs and stuff on the supplements; everybody had a different opinion on what was the best one. Part of the problem with those weightlifting/bodybuilding sites is that the blogs get “salted” pretty heavily with guys hyping their own formulas so you really have to watch what they say.

The funniest thing that happened in high school with trying supplements was senior year this guy on the football team. He was sort of a “bulky” guy anyway, about 6-ft 2-in and probably around 240 to 250, but he wanted to bulk up even more because he thought it gave him a better chance at a college scholarship. Most his problem was he was just putting on bulk—lot of “pudgy” there and not as much muscle. So he gets this shake thing you take before working out and that was his lunch every day for about a week. He bought milk at school and mixed this powdered crap into his drink container—he of course did a double dose of the stuff too. If you played a sport you always had PE last period so you then worked out after that period was over also. After about 5 days of taking this stuff he started itching the period before PE—about an hour or so after he drank it. When he showed up in the locker room he was ripping his clothes off. He ran into the showers and stood there running full on cold water on himself. Everyone went over to see what he was doing and his whole body was bright red, covered with hives or a rash. One of the assistant football coaches finally got him to get a pair of sweats on and took him to the emergency room. He had some sort of an allergic reaction to the stuff. A couple other guys on the football team had just started taking the stuff too. Trust me, after seeing him in that shower no one at our high school ever took that stuff he used again.