yesterday, I called K (the Finnish girl) after I submitted the blog. We had a nice talk, but she was not available to meet during the week, but she suggested maybe we can meet in the weekend because her sister is coming to visit her and would be nice to introduce some friends to her. I felt it immediately, that sinking feeling in the stomach, the one I felt all the times I lost a girl (when I know that a girl I liked has become my friend instead of my lover). So maybe I will see my new "friend" and her sister in the weekend.
Monday, Jan 30th.
Woke up at 6:00 as I had a body pump class booked at the gym. I slept really well, but it was not enough. I was a bit grumpy during the class and didn't even notice any of the girls at the class. I tried to do some 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation on the metro to the office, but my mind was very noisy.
I woke up around 4:45 because Amandine had an early flight and she was not so quiet while packing. She came to hug me good bye, and as I turned my face our lips met. It was a very brief kiss, more like a kiss a mom gives to her son when saying goodbye rather than a lover's kiss. Anyway, she left. I then drifted in and out of sleep a lot. Had a lot of brief dreams. There was one that was a bit sexual, where I was making love to the Finnish girl, K (btw, she didn't show up to the expats party on Friday at she promised).
I woke up again a bit too early, even though I slept around 2:30. And the fact that Amandine was snoring like hell didn't help. I listened the music on my phone till she woke up. There was a text message from Josephine, the girl I met the night before and she has written "was great meeting you, you seem like a lot of fun! Sorry it was a bit of friends night out...Let me know when you want to do salsa!". That made me start the day with a smile despite the bad sleep. We went to the 7/11 a block away to buy some croissant and cinnamon buns. We went back, eat breakfast and headed to town.
Friday, Jan 27
I didn't sleep that well. I think I woke up around 6:45 and was not able to sleep back (my plan was to wake up at 8:00), after some time I gave up and went to the office earlier than usual and arrived there around 8:30 (usually I am there between 9 and 9:30). My plan was to finish early and do some running before meeting my couch surfer and heading for the expats party. However, the day turned out differently. Some urgent tasks came up, and I was not able to leave the office before 17:30.
I woke up a bit earlier than I expected (my alarm was set at 8:30), I think it was 7:45...so I started the day with listening and following the whole tracks of Shanti Gwain's visualization audio book. It took an hour and I felt really good after it.
Yesterday I slept quite late (almost 1:15am), and woke up around 6, but stayed in bed and fell asleep again till 8:30.
At the office, I managed to some nice work done, had a short meeting in the afternoon, and was busy at work till 17:00.
I didn't Facebook or gmail or reddit... but I checked couch surfing a couple of times.. and also maybe spent 30 minutes checking apartments.
And I took a nice 30 minute nap after lunch.
I woke up at 7:45, did the visualization thing for about 15 minutes, quick breakfast and shower.
On the metro I met D, another Italian colleague, not a close one. First thing I remembered when I saw him was his cute Italian gf which I saw him with at F's birthday party. Jealousy mindset came, but I blew it up like a soap bubble. We chit chatted, mostly about his gf, who is finding it hard to integrate in the Swedish way of life. Also about languages, etc...
slept really well, woke up at 8:00.
(Sorry for the long blogs that might discourage you from reading them. I am mostly using the blog as a brain dump of everything that happened during the day, rather than a short summary of stuff related to the rebooting, as i think that will help me more in getting in touch with myself)
Day 5: friday, jan 20th
-went to the gym in the morning and did another interval runs, really tough one, felt great.
- busy day again, but I somehow procrastinated the important stuff till the last moment and ended up at around 18:30 instead of the usual 17:00