Goal: Permanent Semen Retention

Submitted by Beorn on
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For years I played around with Tantric Yoga/Semen Retention, but never seriously enough to get much out of it. Last year I decided it was time to grow up; "it's now or never"; and decided to go 15 months. I actually ended up abstaining from February 22, 2011, through July 15, 2012. Now I have experienced the power that comes with long-term retention, what it feels like to cum after so long (positive and negative), and the after effects, and I really want to commit to permanent abstinence. That's not to say though that it'll be easy.

What's the best place for me to get advice/support? It'd be especially helpful if there was someone to communicate with who was experiencing the same thing.

Thanks.

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don't know

I am not focused on this as a practice. Just not interested in orgasms anymore. So I'm on my seventh, almost eighth month without ejaculation. I have noticed:

Huge improvement in exercise recovery

Better mental clarity and intellectual acuity

Better workouts in general

More self confidence

Faster hair growth and even the disappearance of the supposed bald spot that others wrongly accuse me of having.

 

Possible Exceptions

I've been thinking about your list this week (see below) and I think I agree with you with two exceptions: I am deliberatly focused on semen retention and it's effects; and I can't verify your last observation (for several years I've shaved my head (perfect cure for the bald spot)).

Thanks for your input. Please keep me posted.

Two Possible Additions

A greater sense of existential freedom from my own and society's expectations, biological drives, etc.; lack of fear, a sense of acceptance before the infinite.

A greater sensitivity, presence thorougout my entire body, and in my wife's body; transferee from my genitals.

Thoughts?

Still Thinking

I didn't respond to you and Warriorcelibate back in July, because, while the changes are profound and I certainly will never turn back, I'm having some difficulty fully understanding them or explaining them in any way that would be useful. Do either of you have any specific questions I could address; it might help me think this through.

I'm back here now because these issues are front-and-center this week. My wife and I talked Sunday, and there's a good chance that she will want intercourse while we're out-of-town this weekend. If that happens, I have to admit there's also a good possibility I'll ejaculate (both for the first time since mid-July). I'd like to leave town Friday with a lot clearer awareness of what's going on.

Avoiding Ejaculation

I am in a similar situation. My wife and I have not had sex in quite some time (late June). She has not felt up for it and I have not been pushing. I want this whole thing to be relaxed and natural, so I will not force anything in any way.

In any case, because I have not been inside of her for a while, there is some concern that when it happens I will be over stimulated.

However, I think the key factor is how relaxed you are. Ejaculation results from being too sexually tense. It is an explosive release of sexual tension. In order to avoid it, you need to ensure that you never get too tense.

That obviosuly means that I need to stay relaxed while making love. However, that would be difficult if I had months worth of sexual tension built up. However, despite not having sex, I do NOT have months of pent up sexual tension because we have been cuddling a lot. Just by cuddling we can exchange enough sexual energy to keep us both calm and relaxed. Neither of us is concerned about the fact that we are not having sex. We have talked about it. We both agree that it is a good thing, but there is no rush. It will come when the time is right. I am hoping that this relaxed attitude will carry over when we do eventually peel off the clothes and get physically intimate again.

Similar Experience

I hope it's OK for me to ask, but aren't you physically intimate/naked when you're cuddling. Wouldn't that experience make it easier for you to stay calm "when the time comes"?

I wonder

If you two are trying to tough this out on your own? Having to sustain your partners excitement. My hope for you is that you are able to enroll your partners into the Karezza idea of stillness. Working together is much easier obviously.

Its counter intuitive i know but for me the less exciting movement there is, the more satisfied i feel, the less antsy afterwards.

Excitement

Actually, I think it's a more satisfying experience for me if I can associate my pleasure with my wife's arousal, movement and orgasm (after which she joins me in a quiter state). I suspect ejaculation abstinence would be easier otherwise, but that's just a sacrifice/effort I have to make. I think I' lose something if she was always calm, the transcendence maybe?

My wife is a natural

My wife is a natural for karezza because she typically does not move around much or do anything to overtly arouse me when we are making love. There is no squeezing of muscles or anything. She prefers to just soak up my loving. The only time she gets really wound up is when I directly stimulate her clitoris, which I do not intend to do the next time we make love.

So no, I do not think my wife will do anything to disturbe the slow loving vibe.

In fact, the last time that we made love we were actually doing karezza (unkowingly) for the first twenty minutes. It was slow and easy and I felt no pressure to ejaculate. Then I got it into my head that this would be too boring for her and started overtly arousing her. Chalk it up to lack of knowledge. I had not yet read CPA at that point so I still believed that good sex required fire works. It was only after she had an O (which I had to work VERY hard to give her) that I went over the edge with her.

So, perhaps I should not really be worried about this at all.

Beorn wrote:

[quote=Beorn] What's the best place for me to get advice/support? It'd be especially helpful if there was someone to communicate with who was experiencing the same thing. [/quote]

Here's a link to a Taoist forum in which semen retention is regularly discussed: http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/forum/18-tao-lounge/?s=f5180f1a4a75...

This is an example of a thread about the subject: http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/22912-semen-retention-100-day...

Some members there engage in long periods of abstinence, although I question whether anyone has gone as long as you have. I don't know if this is the best place for you to get support but at least many people on the board are very familiar with the concept and some have a lot of experience with the practice.

If you could offer some detail about how you went almost 17 months and the benefits you've experienced, that would be great.

avoiding ejaculation has been easy for me

I think the reason is that I did exercises to focus on relaxing my root, and when we have intercourse I focus on my root and relaxing at all times. At least, most times. This helps me relax and not tense up. As you say, Louie, tensing up is the prelude to ejaculation.

Also, I don't let myself get too close to the point of no return. So I'm not telling my ejaculation machinery to shut down. 

I'm focusing on the love I feel for my partner and on relaxing all the time. It's truly marvelous because I do get quite aroused, just not *that* aroused. This takes some practice.

But the big real reason this is so easy for me is that we cuddle and snuggle so much. I am always leaking out precum and I think this and the cuddling takes the edge off. 

It was about 10 months when I had an ejaculatory orgasm, and that was by choice only because I had blue balls, which I think were from increases in my wife's sexual energy level and an unconscious escalation in my own energy to match. Now that's fine and I don't have that problem so I don't plan on ejaculating in the forseeable future. If it just happens on its own, that's fine, but I'm not planning on it because I enjoy all the pleasure that I'm into now and it's 24 X 7 amazing and my experience is that ejaculation cuts down on all these feelings and stops me from getting more and I don't want that.

Redirection

Every morning my wife and I cuddle naked for about 30 minutes, and yoy're correct; I wouldn't want to lose that experience by ejaculating. It's more than taken the place of "mating sex".

curious

I have been retaining for over 26 months now and I was curious if there was anyone else on here that has also been doing it this long or longer?

retaining

There are perhaps a dozen or more couples on this forum who practice karezza, which means that the partners make love but one or both partners avoid orgasm and (for the male) ejaculation.

I've been practicing karezza for four years. That doesn't mean I haven't ejaculated in all that time, because occasionally (about four times per year) I get too close to the edge and have an orgasm unintentionally.

Some single guys who avoid masturbating might have longer records. A lot of those guys can be found at porn recovery sites such as yourbrainonporn.com, rebootnation.org, etc.

Statistics may be hard to come by. For one thing, it depends on how you want to define duration of retention. For example, do wet dreams count? And most of us aren't doing this to create a record; rather, we do it because it makes us feel better mentally and physically, or because it seems to improve relationship harmony. Thus, many of us aren't keeping accurate records.