Day 39 - Random Thoughts

Submitted by Bob The Builder on
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Hello, all! This is day 39 of no PMO.

My libido has been mildly strong this week. It is still sporadic, however, but I do not really think a completely consistent, raging libido is likely or normal, so this is good. Sometimes I wake up with erections, and I have also been getting random erections around 2 or 3 PM.

My anxiety and depression are not as bad as before thanks to three main actions. First, I have stopped all PMO. Second, I have drastically decreased the intensity in which I exercise. And lastly, I have experimented with eliminating all grains, including starches like potatoes and rice. I noticed on days in which I ate lots of rice and potato products that I often would end up very emotional, crying a few hours later. My gut!

Yesterday I started a supplement that was suggested to me long ago for adrenal fatigue. I tried it while still partaking PMO and it didn't help. I will see how different things go this time around, since I have made lots of changes. So far, it seems to have calmed me a little.

PMO has definitely impacted my health for the worse, but over the past month I am beginning to realize that maybe PMO is not the main culprit to my problems. Is it a big issue? Definitely. It probably helped drain my hormones which has gotten me to this adrenal fatigue problem. Furthermore, my unhealthy eating over the years intensified while PMO, making another stressor a significant problem and thus draining my health. And then ever since I was little I have struggled with intestinal issues (even as a toddler), but usually the numbing effect of junk food was able to cover it up. So in conclusion, there is no one, easy-to-fix problem that has hampered me (wouldn't it be so much easier if this were the case?). Things just build onto one another.

I also have wondered if I am even addicted to PMO. After all, I have, throughout this process, been attracted to women, I never got into extreme or violent pornography, and my erections are pretty rock solid these days. Maybe I can indeed start looking at those images of beautiful women on social networking sites or other message boards. My other health woes are probably the culprit...

*Alarm goes off in head*

Yes, lately my mind has been tempting me to rationalize masturbating, or even just visiting sites that have attractive females on them. Even just Facebook and stuff! I doubt a porn blocker would help me with stuff like this, since a lot of my addiction has been related to nothing nude or crude, just pictures of girls, digitally and in my head.

Whenever I have one of these urges, instead of going to any website or state of mind, I simply come to this community instead and read more PMO addiction-related content. Having these urges, to me is proof that I have a very intense addiction. Do these urges typically begin to go away? They have actually intensified over the past week. I think it might have to do with increased libido.

39 days and no PMO or even browsing social media for attractive photos. Not a once.