Day 4

Submitted by Bort on
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Last night I was going to the bank right after work to do a transaction with a business partner. I would have to wait for him for a few minutes so I popped into the gym right next door to use the restroom. On the way out of the gym, a girl randomly caught my eye and smiled at me. Smiled back, felt good. Went next door to the bank and without even thinking about it, I started flirting with this bank employee who asked me if I needed help. Cool witty stuff flowed effortlessly out of my mouth, almost like somebody else was speaking for me. I didn't even care for a second what she thought of me, or if I sounded weird. It just seemed like fun. No doubt I felt confident and fearless from the random smiley girl at the gym. Anyway, banker lady smiled and laughed a lot, but didn't say much or contribute at all, and kind of got fidgety and left to go back to work. The way I was flirting I didn't even feel rejected. It was more like she just left, like she wasn't up for it or something. Maybe she was married (I never check rings) or maybe she's a sociophobic porn addict, HAHAHAHA! The right move obviously in retrospect was to go flirt with the random smiley gym girl immediately. But I wasn't in the mindset for it. However, just a 30 second delayed reaction later, her smile transformed my mindset to the point that I was able to flirt with the banker lady.

So to update, I only made it 5 days last time, slipped once, and now I'm back up to day 4. I still get cravings and it doesn't seem like there's much progress, but for the last 2 months, my porn use is probably down over 75%, even including all the relapses. Let's hope this time is the last time.