Pickup bootcamp?

Submitted by Bort on
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So I didn't last much longer after my last post. Then I had another one week mark that I didn't post. And here I am posting yet another one week marker. So I've firmly established I can last a week. But that doesn't do me much good. I'm now beginning to consider some more drastic measures. I will probably need to change careers at some point. Currently I work at the computer from home, where I live alone. Before doing that, I'm also considering one of the "pick-up bootcamps" that I've read about. Has anybody tried these? Basically a weekend event where a dating coach helps you to approach strange and attractive women. Right now I'm stuck in this mindset of "I will abstain long enough and things will magically get better". But the truth is, I have built myself a veritable porn fortress of solitude and misanthropy. If I abstain from porn without tearing down the walls I've put up... I'll just be a lifelong abstinent. I need to make concrete changes in my lifestyle that force me into social situations, force me away from computer, and force me to get after some girls. I'm 29 and I've lost my old social circle to work and marriages and kids. I squandered the youthful energy of teens and 20's, now it takes some difficult work.


design your life

it is helpful to think about where you want to be.

Design your life a bit and then start that track.

You are right though -- it is not possible to escape an addictive behavior without substituting something else. And without changing the situations that lead to the behavior.

Very smart that you are thinking along these lines.

Is there a way you can get a job working in an office?

Getting a pickup course is probably great, because you'll have a very helpful weekend, but what about when it's over? In my experience a weekend course seldom leads to lasting change. It wears off quickly. Not that it's a bad idea, but that it's not really an answer.

Is there some type of ongoing thing you can get into? Evening salsa dancing for instance? Just making a few changes like this can make a huge difference -- adding a weeknight salsa dance class would be a great start, wouldn't you agree?

Also, can you volunteer another weeknight? Maybe volunteer at a shelter or tutoring or something? That would create another weeknight to get you away and into socializing.

It's all about substitute behaviors and removing yourself from situations likely to lead to PMO.