So today is day 22 and I am so grateful this time I am sure I will make it at least thirty days. I am 21 years old, and I feel like I have alot of things to make up for all of these last few mostly unproductive years. What I am most happy about is that my mind is actually as sharp as ever, and I feel as sharp and curious as I did when I was in elementary school, the innocent days.
Plus I feel pretty alpha(Can't say I'm fully used to it yet, I know not an alpha thing to say but they won't know that lol), like many of the other guys have said. It's amazing for me, because I've had alot of friends who I have known for years, and most of them have been dominant over me. Now being back home for summer break, I have reunited with some of these guys with my new more confident self. I feel like on the first day in meeting many of them, they just threw me shit tests here and there, and I just rolled over them with ease, and now I can tell they treat me with much more respect, and they're quite surprised. They're suddenly asking me for advice on their problems, suddenly I feel like their father...Total 180 reversal seriously.
To say I become spineless if I indulge in PMO is seriously an understatement. I just become a pathetic excuse for a human being. Too emotional, no confidence, no clarity, can't think straight. And I seriously have gone YEARS living like this. Now I am controlled, stable, focused, super confident, and have a very sharp mind. And this is only 22 days. Maybe by 60 days I grow wings?
But when you save your energy up, you get that unconquerable will where what would have been huge walls in your past become little knee high fences you just have to step over. I do feel like for some people, PMO does not affect them at all. I want to say that it all depends on how deeply you get involved in the pictures. For example I know some people who tell me that porn is just stupid to them, and so it doesn't have that hypnotic effect. For myself, I happen to be a little sensitive , that is easily moved by stimuli and movies, works of art, music and such. So naturally it would affect me alot more. Tell me what you guys think about that...or is it actually pretty bad for everyone and some can just hide it better?
I'm looking forward to my thirty day post, which will be next Saturday. Just taking one day a time.