Childhood Friend

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Submitted by cadethefaun on
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Yeah, so awhile back, this site and yourbrainonporn, diverged..

So this site is more about the karezza / lovemaking / relationship angle

And I don't know if it is right to say this here or not but I started here and always felt more comfortable voicing myself and innermost feelings or whatever here..

I'm at a loss

Someone who was a childhood friend of mine, yeah, haven't talked to this person for years and years.., but yeah, well this person was arrested for sexual abuse..

News article says this person said they were sexually abused as a child and that they were asking for help.. Still, everyone thinks they are a monster or creep, of course..

And I think back, the main reason I started this journey, became aware of my sexual addiction and eventually found this site..

was because I went almost overnight from enjoying my porn and sex addiction to kind of suddenly having unwanted thoughts and fantasies that could have led to me hurting, really damaging someone.. I can't explain why or how, it just kinda happened one day, like there was a demon inside of me or something..

But, I wasn't going to have that, so I got help..

At the time, I didn't even know there was help for something like this, but, I eventually found it.. 12 steps, therapy, and the will to not.. healing began..

As of now, I couldn't imagine doing something like that, I have nieces and nephews in my life now that I treasure and adore.. And now I'm the one who worries most about who to trust them alone with and things like that.. Sometimes I even lecture their parents about who they should trust..

So, this is here for what it's worth.. Maybe if more people in that situation realize they can and that there is help, they will find it before something like this happens again..

Comments

Thank you for this courageous post

and for your will to heal. I'm really proud of you.

Today's internet porn (endless streaming videos available, with more extreme material easily accessible during a masturbation session - unlike any other period of human history) are causing escalation to more extreme tastes in many guys. A study from last year reported that half of porn users had escalated to things that were formerly uninteresting or formerly repelled them. See Studies Find Escalation in Porn Users.

In short, today's porn is such a potent medium that it conditions some people's sexual tastes. Most don't realize that if they just quit all internet porn use, their strange fetish tastes would often evaporate. See Are my fetishes porn-induced? So, sadly, many will be "stuck" with their porn-induced tastes (and also their porn-induced sexual dysfunctions)...and may easily become bitter, discouraged and even violent. Truly tragic.

It's great that you escaped. Well done!

I didn't escalate there

I didn't escalate there through internet porn exactly. Or ya, I kind of did..

I never really went beyond "normal" porn. However I was very into it at the time and think maybe my brain chemistry was just headed for some kind of crisis point where the normal stuff wouldn't work anymore, and the addiction part of my brain just started doing f**ked up, more extreme fantasy in an attempt to keep that dopamine going..

Something like that, who knows exactly..? But yes, definitely quitting porn was important to this process..

And I found happiness in life, so I would say it all ended up being ok..

And I should mention that breaking away from the judeo-christian tyrant god ideal that I grew up with and my discovery of Jung and the shadow really helped me alot among other things.

I'm not saying "God" is bad, just that the idea started being detrimental, maybe mainly due to my religious upbringing, basically growing up in pretty much a cult so then I had to define my own version of "higher power".

Just thought I'd say all this, may help someone..

fundamentals

Just wanted to mention, that person.. His family was a form of fundamentalist christian.. They weren't even allowed to talk about sex, so I see.. I think this is what happens when you are abused and can't really find a way to talk about it.

So sad

In my experience, the ex-religious are the least objective critics of all things sexual. Even less objective than most religious people today. In other words, I think the situation in religious organizations has been changing: less shaming, more willingness to talk about sex and porn, etc. 

But those who grew up under the earlier religious culture are often deeply wounded.