So I developed performance anxiety bc she was being too wishy washy about the relationship and I couldn't feel safe to have sex. One day I love yous and then once a week or two I got lets break it off.
she got angry about the performance anxiety, we fought about it and I guess we are just friends now. She says she really needs to b alone for a while to work on herself and she is probably right. I need somewhat more emotional stability for intimacy to work for me.
But, I suspect there is a bit of emotional blackmail going on... I think she really wants to be intimate, but doesn't believe she can actually be a nice person, thats why she threatens to break it off, be friends only,and other such stuff
And she doesn't have to be perfect, just... better.
I see a victim mentality. But, all I can do is stop being a victim myself, live the life I want, and hopefully she will follow.
I have a feeling that this "just friends" thing won't last. It never did and never does. We started out as "just friends" with just cuddling...
This time I just have to make sure she is more stable. She WILL work on herself, she is aware of the problem and always working on self improvement... maybe too aware