Love Cripple

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 I remember when I went to 12 step meetings, there was a part in the book where it says something like: Those of us who thought of ourselves as great lovers were actually great love cripples..

 

A few  months ago, I read in No More Mr Nice Guy something about overtly trying to please women in the bedroom, women don't find it attractive. I used to pride myself on my ability to please a woman, worked on and tried to please women as much as possible. Women would say I was absolutely awesome in bed, but none of them stayed with me. Thing is, I knew how to please women and give them plenty of orgasm, but I wasn't satisfying them..

 

Now, for the last few months I've been following the advice, and, more recently I had sex w a girl, and although, Yeah I was trying to please her somewhat, also a few times I was like, "could you do such and such for me?" And, in the end I knew that, even though I didn't last as long as I prided myself before and was more "selfish" than I used to be in the past, I knew she would be satisfied when I was done and she was.

 

What I learned from this is that women actually want to satisfy their man too and not just themselves, and that before when I tried overtly to please them it actually took away from them being able to please me, which is actually part of their satisfaction

 

Just wanted to share this with you guys  I-m so happy

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Good insight

When you make the woman all about your performance, she knows she is being used for your goals (magnanamous though you perceive them to be). This prevents the give and take that actually builds trust, bonds and communication.

Receiving Is As Important As Giving

You just described the difference between being a good lay and a good lover. To be a good lover you need to be gracious in accepting the act of love from the other person—you are allowing them to feel love by doing something for you. I heard someone describe making love as, “two people walking as one.” Probably the greatest misstatement we commonly make is, making love “to” someone; you make love “with” someone. You need to be in sync with the other person, each one giving to the act and the relationship.

I almost exactly agree with your last statement about women want to satisfy a man as that is part of their satisfaction. I really think that if you love or care for someone a great part of your satisfaction, whether you are a man or a woman, is the pleasure and satisfaction that you give the other person.

I hope you continue receiving and giving—your observations are something we don’t think about often enough.