I've said this before I know, but it's different this time. I'm in no way trying to run away from this whole quit porn crusade or anything associated with it. This time though, I honestly feel like I have nothing left to say about this whole journey. Its been great, and I learned so much here. I developed here, and gained many perspectives. Now I have nothing left to add really(I've tried and it's all been said before). I'll never forget that my brain will always want that excitement, but at the same time I feel I can put this behind me now.
So this morning was the third time we had sex, and miraculously, she initiated. that's something she never really does so blatantly. I was just kissing her all over while she was watching something, and she asked me to carry her upstairs for love time as she called it.LMAO That's just wow.
POSSIBLE TRIGGER ALERT:
God this has always been a big part of the reboot for me. I almost always feel the anxiety like I've got 100 red lasers on my forehead. Everyone is a potential enemy and honestly I feel a little terrified of the world outside my home. Watching the news, I saw a story of a guy getting jumped and robbed in my borough and it's like wooooow. That can easily happen to me. My girlfriend sees it too, exclaims a bit, then she's ready to go to the supermarket for ice cream and soda... I'm sitting there thinking: Are you mad?!!?
Well tonight was the first night we tried had sex without the orgasm. We have in the past always hugged and kissed tenderly during sex, but we stuck mainly to slow sensual sex tonight. I don't feel like I thought I'd feel really. I actually felt satisfied physically after we finished, but at the same time, I can still go more... I felt a surge of passion afterwards and I continued to play with her breasts until she said she could have an orgasm soon if I continued.
Well, looks like I'm back in the lab again for now. Been a long year for me, and much has happened. There are a lot of new rebooters here too! It's nice to know that the world is catching on a few posters at a time.
Well today is day 57 or if you want to remove the slip-up that lasted a week, then it'd be day 174 of no porn.
Couldn't sleep... Thoughts flowing...
Man I really wanted my next post to be the one where I got a girlfriend and lived happily ever after, but monkey wrenches do exist. I mainly want to share some things here about my rebooting process that I think can help out here. It's gonna be a clutter of different ideas concerning rebooting, and my own experience with it. Take it as a guide if you want.
I'm going to try to keep this one short and sweet as I don't have much to say today. I'm going to start with the bad because I like happy endings.
Well at long last, I've reached my goal of 90 days without porn. It feels like it has been so long since the last session, but that's probably because so much has happened in the span of 90 days.