So the horny-ness from the last O seems to have passed, and I feel back to normal. Well except one thing: I really gotta get the hell out! I don't know why, but my house feels so suffocating it's not funny. After dealing with withdrawal for weeks and no libido to too much libido, now I have to deal with being restless! I prefer the restlessness a lot more than withdrawal symptoms though =]. Man, this whole experience has taught me that I have absolutely no contacts! Looking back, I've burned so many bridges in the past as a way of punishment I guess, but now I'm SOOOO LONELYYY!
Today I woke up and I just knew that today was one of those peak days. It's like I got through valleys for 4-5 days, and then the energy comes back on. my body is weird because I thought after two weeks, I would have a wet dream. This was not the case this week, so I decided today was a great day to test the chaser. I figured It was a great day, and if anything I would not be doing it as comfort for myself. So I Masturbated, and it finished in about 2 minutes(Not yet ready for the Olympics).
I'm back again with more musing about introversion and Recovery. I did more research(GOOGLE!)on introversion and Extroversion, and I found some interesting information about the brain differences between the two. Basically, introverts need less stimulation to feel in balance, while an extrovert needs more stimulation and usually gets this from being around lots of people. For an introvert, his or her own company will usually suffice, and prolonged interaction with other people will usually leave them drained.
This weekend was a roller coaster of stress and mood swings, and now I am quite tired. At this point i can honestly say that porn has absolutely no pull on me anymore, and masturbation is the same way. The only thing I can say is that I still have terrible mood swings where I need to be alone from everyone, but I don't wanna blame PMO anymore. I don't know if it is withdrawal symptoms anymore.
Yesterday was amazing. My family had reunited after a long while after my sister came from Florida, and it was a blast. I never enjoyed being around family so much before. I always wanted to be alone and do my own thing, but not yesterday. One of my sisters is usually the life of the party,(especially when she's drunk!)but yesterday she had to share some with me.=] I did a lot of flirting with (girl), and I invited her to hang out with me for tomorrow. I hope she agrees to go as she is very shy with public activities.
Tomorrow marks the end of week 8, and today I feel my confidence has returned from the last wet dream I had 4 days ago. Looking back on my previous writings, it looks like the two wet dreams are exactly two weeks apart in date. It may be safe to say that the next one will be one week from this coming Tuesday, but hopefully it won't hurt as much as this one did. I can't really say much as to why it hurt so much all the the way down to the base of my penis, but it may be due to leakage that blocked the tip.
So yesterday I had my second wet dream since June 5th, and how fitting considering I was fantasizing about (girl)before falling asleep. I guess it's progress from before when I could only have wet dreams concerning pornography. Well as a result, I felt increasingly horny all day. I felt completely drained and bored all day. Must be the chaser effect they spoke of, but if that's the case then I'd better learn to accept it. Guess I should just sit with this feeling until it passes.
I remember when we first hung out she drank from the same cup as me. She wasn't weird about it at all, and she never even said anything about it. She likes to stay at home and watch her favorite movies. She also enjoys playing video games, but she's not addicted like I used to be =]. She makes friends with guys very easily, but she has friends who are girls too. She listens to me when I go through stuff, and she even gives advice that's not judgmental. Her whole wardrobe is full of loose very casual laid-back clothing, and she owns one pair of shoes. She doesn't drink or smoke anything.
9:00 am - This barbell is becoming so light it's not even funny, but maybe it's just that I have way more energy. I can go past my usual amount of sets whereas in the past, I struggled with my usual amount. I literally got 5 hours of sleep, had a coffee, and I'm still good to go. It's amazing really. Women still give me butterflies, but I have to say that I've become more brave and confident in myself. I think I'm starting to realize why I used to love metal, and I think it's because it was the only music that could match my energy output.
Headache Headache Headache!!! So much pressure in my head. I usually try to fight taking daily naps, but maybe my body needs that right now. Low energy again today, but I feel I can keep going and that I'll be fine soon enough.