Day 25 - Desperate First Post

Submitted by chillout on
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Ok, so its been 25 days.

I thought after week 1, this is going to be easier than I thought. I had already had a couple of solid nightly boners and the cravings weren't too bad.

Since then its gotten tougher. Two weeks of intense stress and depression, thank god thats over. Plus I have not had more than three nights sleep. My once proud appendage dangles limply, showing no signs of movement.

Now to top it all off, the cravings are coming back and getting worse! To the point that when I googled "porn cravings" and a porn site popped up (bastards!) I couldn't help myself, I had to see. Only looked at the homepage, and only briefly, and who should leap into action, but man's (formerly) best friend. One picture had that affect.

So I'm a little bit desperate. I have followed all of your reboot progress in the last few weeks and love the supportive vibe of the community. I'm not seeing any of the good stuff, like confidence, returning libido etc and I think its starting to erode my power to resist.

Just so that you know, I have been exercising, meditating, eating properly. My fiance is away for a month and I am a little starve of contact at the moment.

Anyway, your thoughts are appreciated. How do you know that you're through the worst?

Comments

Each Reboot is different

I've been trying to quit pmo since sept 2011. Each time the reboot has gone differently. 25 days exceeds my best record, so congrats on making it so far.

A friendly suggestion: Think about your fiance and how much better your interactions will be with her when she returns to you. "Success is sweet - sweeter if long delayed." Keep fighting those cravings and check YBOP for rebooting accounts of all types as well as tips to avoid relapses.

Good Luck!

Thanks guys, needed that.

Thanks guys, needed that. The days seem to go slower the further I get into this!!

Some fellow rebooters have given some great tips for getting away from the cravings, something that works for me is feeling and exploring the craving. Like feeling the sensation of the craving and noticing it change over time. Something borrowed from mindfulness practice. Usually it works for me (but not yesterday).

Lol

The "good stuff" ain't coming for a while man, your in the middle of the shit and it may well get worse before it gets better. Cry like a baby and grab your favorite cuddly toy and blankie, whatever makes the relapse craving go away. A month or two from now you'll thank yourself.

Also, chillout, that's a fantastic name and that's all you should do, just chill out and you'll be gold in no time!