Cole's blog

Guilt and Shame

Submitted by Cole on

A thought came to me today. Yes, those do happen from time to time. :)

I've wondered about why someone like me in the past has often not seemed to experience a lot of the negative downsides post orgasm that others have. And a possible link has occurred to me, and I wondered how it played out among our group here. Let me explain what I'm thinking.

It seems people here who have some of the worse symptoms after an orgasm are also the ones who tend to feel a lot of guilt and/or shame.

Sexual Energy and Stuff

Submitted by Cole on

I thought a discussion about the topic of transmutation and sexual energy might be beneficial.

Primarily because for me, the concept is so abstract. Especially when you begin to talk about moving energy here or there over your body. I have no clue what that means, how it is done, or how I would even be aware of it. Not to say it is, but it sounds like so much esoteric and abstract stuff that I can't get my mind or body around.

Step 4 - Down time - Anniversary

Submitted by Cole on

Now I'm ready to head into step 4, after successfully completing the previous 3 steps in my plan.

This one will be easier as I had originally planned. Basically a free-for-all stage. No planned days of abstinence for the next month and a half. My plan was to enjoy whenever I wanted up until after my anniversary. Then I would have two weeks of abstaining on Wednesdays and Fridays, followed by heading into step 5, a full month of abstinence.

Step 3 - Week of Abstinence

Submitted by Cole on

New step, new blog thread. :)

Monday begins Step 3 for me. Step 3 involves no orgasm until next Sunday, and none to little stimulation. This will be a test both of my self-control that I've been working on the past few weeks, and I pray a confidence builder as well (which all depends on how well I do).

To this date, I've been free of porn since that last bout, about two weeks ago. So I'm back around 14 days with that...or I may have miscounted and it is really three weeks ago...I don't recall. I could always go look in the previous blog and see the date I posted that.

Training to Control

Submitted by Cole on

A revelation has come about recently, and I've been intending to write about it.

It arose in responding to life's blog, and some links from that answer fell into place recently. So I thought I would share them here.

One, I should say my goal isn't to never have another orgasm. Indeed, I will probably do it later, both with my wife, and occasionally by myself if the mood hits.


Submitted by Cole on

Marnia made a comment on another blog about not liking to use guilt as a motivator for changing behaviors. I believe I know what she meant, and I don't really think I'm contradicting that thought, but I did want to explore this further. I think because there's more to this than meets the eye when it comes to guilt. So bear with me while I "think out loud" for a bit.