Day 64. Giving up Caffeine.

Submitted by Confinement84 on
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I pretty much gave up all Caffeine products 20 months ago when I started my PMO-Free Journey. On occasion I would drink a diet coke and the effects of caffeine were rather apparent. I became so sensitive to caffeine that a diet pepsi at 9 in the morning would make it difficult for me to fall asleep 14 hours later. When Spring semester ended 2 months ago I started a little caffeine binge. First it was a coke, then it became 3-5 cokes a day. Soon Cokes did not even phase me. I started drinking Monster and Rockstar drinks. Then 2-4 Energy drinks a day. It got to the point where I become extremely lethargic and lazy at work if I wasn't drinking on a Starbucks or Energy drink at all time ( I work in construction.)

So I gave up Caffeine again 3 days ago. I was wasting an easy 5-8 dollars a day. And for what? I ended up with less energy then I would have if I just went all natural. I have been having major headaches and a feeling of complete lazyness. Soon this caffeine crash will end. I think Caffeine is ok if the usage is kept to a minimum. Why I have such an addictive personality I will never know. Marijuana, Porn, Masturbation, Video games, Meth, Orgasm, Nicotine, Alcohol and even Caffeine... over-came most of those compulsions years ago ( PMO and Caffeine is a work in progress.) If only there was a way to use this addictive personality for some good. I am a compulsive gym rat and I study for school like there is no tomorrow but is there more? I feel like I was born with an addictive brain and was set up to fail.

Anyways... Day 64. I felt like my Anxiety started to come back a little as I continued to indulge on the Monster Drinks and Coffees. Hopefully these feelings of anxiety will be washed away as I depart from my latest favorite crave. Good bye Mochas! Good bye Monster drinks!

P.S. - I always felt like the behavior of rewarding my dopamine through caffeine, candy, chocolates usually leads down a path of relapse. I don't know why this is, but looking back at some of my personal journal posts I notice that I often indulged on an unhealthy eating habit days prior to falling off the wagon.

Comments

Personally,

I think you're brain is looking for the rewards of pair bonding. Any news about that girl who was gonna visit? If she's not around, what else are you doing to get connected.

Remember...pair bonding voles are more prone to use drugs than the species that doesn't pair bond. Are Pair Bonders More Vulnerable to Addiction?

Maybe you have a pair-bonder brain (like your fellow humans Smile ). Don't make yourself wrong...but give your brain what it's looking for before you blame it for seeking good feelings elsewhere.

*big hug*

Interesting stuff on the pair

Interesting stuff on the pair-bonder brain Marnia. There is no doubt in my I have a pair-bonder brain... which is odd because I have no significant other to pair-bond with. LOL. Kind of ironic to say the least.

Cool. I actually noticed this

Cool. I actually noticed this when giving up Caffeine. I definitely felt out of place and some what anxious giving up Caffeine or even when I was drinking Caffeine but when I was coming down from the "high." By day 6-7 I was feeling much better anxiety wise but I have only been on a Caffeine binge for about 60 days. I haven't drank any Caffeine since that last post but I feel like I deserve a little treat this weekend after getting through this first stressful week of Fall Semester.