Confinement84's blog

Day 14, again

Submitted by Confinement84 on

Day 14. Not much new to report. I have hit day 14 more times then I can count with 2 hands and I have noticed something. My libido seems to be rather non-existent from day 2~13. But right around week 2 I start to feel myself "come alive" if you will.

Is it the porn or the orgasm?

Submitted by Confinement84 on

I don't fully understand how the neurotransmitters in the brain work ( even though we have recently studied it in Psychology) but I do feel some how, some way, Ibminh is partially accurate (regarding his recent post on Oxytocin and social anxiety).

Over the last 14 months I have tried pretty hard to give up PMO. I have made it over 30 days several times and over a 100 days once between binge episodes. Here are a few things I have experienced.

AHHHHHH!

Submitted by Confinement84 on

Failed after 35 days this time. I was almost to embarrassed to blog about it. Fortunately this time I did not binge. 1 and done. It wasn't nearly as exciting as I remembered. Time to reset the counter. I will check back in a week.

Day 27 of infinity. Playful banter.... gone bad.

Submitted by Confinement84 on

Day 27 of infinity. The beginning of the beginning. I am a carpenter/painter of 9 years and I work with your stereotypical construction workers. You know the type? Shit talking all day every day. Busting balls, hating on each others work, borderline joking. 1 Bad joke away from a fist fight. Though it rarely ends in a fist fight, we'r often on the edge of a brawl, daily. That is not a stretch of the imagination by any means. I have been in several physical fights over the last 9 years with coworkers, including 1 a few months ago which I outlined in 1 of my previous blog entries.

Day 22..... 26645 days to (73 years assuming I live to be 100)

Submitted by Confinement84 on

Day 22 no PMO. 26645 days to go. Feeling better again. Have no real urge to look at porn but on occasion, feel like I need to M. Usually this urge hits me on a Saturday and Sunday morning when I can sleep in some and have a strong morning erection. From experience I feel that a M.O. does not really kill my PMO count ,however I am afraid of the chaser effect days after. So for right now I'll avoid any orgasm.

anxiety and my lost sense of reality.

Submitted by Confinement84 on

First off, Day 13 no PMO after relapsing on and off for 1 year. Day 400 of no Marijuana. 378 no cigs.

I used to be a rather carefree individual, a happy kid, with no worries in the world. That was until I discovered PMO and Marijuana around the age of 14. After 12 years of PMO and Drugs, I slowly started to develop clinical social anxiety. Not to be mistaken with nervousness or shyness, but real, clinical social anxiety with strong physical symptoms at times. Usually, I am rather "normal" but when it hits me... it hits me hard.

Day 6, Again.

Submitted by Confinement84 on

Day 6 of no PMO, again. Many things have changed in the last few months. I was well over day 100 being porn free when I relapsed. My confidence was sky high. So high I felt like I could PMO once without falling off the wagon. Wrong. Today is day 6 and I just don't feel very confident, actually, I have felt like this for the last few weeks. Sad, unenthusiastic, lethargic, fearful are a few words that come to mind.

Failed post day 100. Lost in the fog.

Submitted by Confinement84 on

Long time no blog. It has been a month or 3 since I last posted. Long story short around day 81 I M and O'd and thought I was in the clear. A week or so later the "chaser" effect kicked in and I started to feel like I was falling back into the fog. Sometime around day 100 I went to a party, got drunk, and when I got home.. I ended up PMOing. After the initial PMO, I felt like I fucked up so bad that I may as well get it all out of my system and binge before i recoup. So I would PMO 2-3x in 1 day, go a week sober, then the chaser effect would be back, repeat. Week after week.

Pages