Dano_Clarke's blog

Pretty F'ing Stoked, Day 28 Approacheth

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

Hmmm. I'll say this topic is News, Humor and Inspiration.

This post is happening right before another cold shower. BRRRRRRR I'm tired of paying for AC. Now what am I stoked about? Finishing grad school and making plans to move to BK, NY that's what. My life is wide open. I'm going to do what I love: Activism, Music and Writing, not necessarily in that order and crucially, I will find an audience for these things and make connections with my peers. Correction, I've been doing what I love for years but now that I don't have crazy deadlines I can be more focused about it.

Catchy Title

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

About a month ago I finished graduate school. I left it a different person than when I entered. When I started I was drinking and smoking pot and struggling to quit porn. During grad school I quit porn, masturbation, orgasm, booze and pot and caffeine, tho not all at the same time and at various times I was doing one or the other while not doing one of the others. I identified triggers and also started using porn again after a long period of abstinence from porn and masturbation.

Somewhere between excitement and hope, despair and resignation

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

I can't quite put my finger on it. It's a general malaise and a feeling like I let myself down and realized exactly what happened and what to do. It wasn't very long ago I was riding high and feeling good about my accomplishments, my progress. Then after a pretty ridiculous binge, something akin to flatline, but not exactly that either.

Graduation is close

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

So I have a week till spring break and it is going to be as crazy as the past two months have been. Then I get a much needed break. Now I'm just coming on here to post and get a few of the details of life onto paper (well digital paper.)

I've got a lot going for me, been working out pretty consistently for over a year and got some results, maintained a vegan diet, kept doing a lot of academic writing and also have been very actively politically. I also recorded a demo with a band and have been seeing a woman lately.

The Buck Stops Here

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

I know now that if I don't stay involved with a community of people who are separating from porn, I'm bound to slip up sooner or later. I thought I'd had it licked and I'd be on my merry way without it but I've had enough relapsing to know it was just a way to imagine myself "cured" and that I wouldn't have to keep myself in check as much as I had before.

NYT Article: Darwin Was Wrong About Dating

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/opinion/sunday/darwin-was-wrong-about-...

I knew it! I'm horny all the time not because it's an evolutionary advantage to spread my seed in the short term but because I'm constantly bombarded with these sexual messages on a daily basis and my dopamine reward circuitry was more than happy to comply once I got myself on the steady dopamine feed thru porn.

Checking In

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

I've needed to do this for sometime and I have been avoiding it out of feelings of shame around a porn relapse I've been experiencing. I remember how everyone on here was so supportive. I havn't been a regular poster on here for some time and had over a year and a half of no porn and about 9 months of no PMO. I was on cloud 9. I think the stress of last semester's hurricane (literal and figurative) at the height of the semester was getting to me. That and I am working with a counselor and I really don't know if she gets this addiction.

More Milestones

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

Short Summary:

Just over a full year of no porn! (yay!)
In the last year I have only masturbated 5 times and all of those times were in the last few months from May to the present. More on this below.

For good measure I'll throw in a few other things:

Stick Around For The Miracle

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on

Dear Friends,

I write this as a message of encouragement. It's been over two years since I discovered this anonymous web forum where it's ok to talk about porn addiction and where there is a viable alternative and solution offered to kick the habit for good. When I found it, it seemed pretty impossible to me that I'd be where I am now but it also feels like it wasn't that long ago that I was on here nearly everyday and posting copiously about my relapses, attempts at dating, masturbation rituals or wet dreams. Things that are taboo for people to talk about in public really.

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