After 9 Months of No PMO I Did The Deed....

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on
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So I woke up after a stressful day (I still had fun, but without days off, even fun can be stress inducing) around 1 am and I was extremely horny.

I felt like "I'm going to have a wet dream anyway so why not avoid the trouble of changing my drawers." So I masturbated. I must tell you nothing has changed and I want it to be 2 weeks or longer before anything like that happens again (probably it will be much longer.) Any hint of it creeping in as a regular "stress reliever" could spell trouble and I'm not having too much in the way of cravings today so I think it will be a cinch. Let's face it, I just completed a run of over 9 months of total celibacy, I don't know how many days that is. No porn, masturbation or orgasm and through the toughest times as well, so this isn't such a bad thing and doesn't seem to have the same consequences as when I used to do it every 3 or 4 days. There is still the desire and possibility, I just have a much stronger control of all that.

Most of any fallout was some lingering guilt about not making it to a year of celibacy but you know what, I didn't start out with a desire to become celebate, just to attempt a rewire. To my chagrin I still have some pornographic fantasy that pops up. I don't think the rewire is totally complete but I also know I'm in way better shape mentally/physically than ever and I'm pursuing my life's passion with gusto so there has been steady improvement in my quality of life.

I'm starting to meet more women now too and that could also be a factor as well as the seasonal weather change. I look better and feel better and I think women notice that. I'm also playing more gigs and that gets me noticed. I've also got over 90 days of no booze or pot and that feels good. Overall things are good, even if I'm exhausted and still have a ton of homework due the next week and a half. It's going to get done and then I can relax.

Thanks for reading,

DC

Comments

Nice job being forthright on

Nice job being forthright on your blog. It's funny how it can be easier to say one Med 3 times a day than one Med once in 9 months.

Look for the lessons. Be vigilant for a while. When I went 4+ months, I ended up with one M, then about a month before I started to crumble. Maybe the cycles get extended without fully going away.

Perhaps your brain is saying find a woman in some indirect way.

Good luck with all that is going on.

You make a lot of good points Freedom

I've recently been meeting women and attempting dates, getting rejected and starting all over. Every time I date again there are some bumps in the beginning. I'm really not interested in the PMO roller coaster any more but after you do it once by that 3rd or 4th day the urges return as strong as ever. I've learned how to ignore them.

Looking back it totally wasn't "worth" it because I think about it far less when I'm not experience "hang over" or "chaser" effects. I'm not really sad or anything but I'm still stressed from school. I know what you mean. Masturbating once a year seems a little ridiculous but with my background giving in at all is still cause enough to remain vigilant. I don't want to go back!

Thanks for your post.

wassup Dano? Im currently

wassup Dano? Im currently tryin to attempt a one yr no PMO diet as well and since u almost met ur goal i wanted to inquire about ur journey ... in the 9 months which is extremely impressive of you going without PMO how were ur erections like? did the benefits keep increasing as u went along or did it hit a peak and standstill from there? did u have ED before this reboot? can you start an erection with just do use of ur mind and if presented sex do u think u could perform? was ur libido in and out through this time period or was there a consistent dose of horniness? what about confidence? vigor? aggression? charisma? nd all these unique personalities thatu get from abstaining? did they continue to increase as u got higher up the months or did they just hit a peak or even dip at times? i apologize about the array of questions but im just tryin to figure out the benefits of the journey im embarking on before i do and ur the closest to being able to answer my questions then anybody else ... shit if anythin u should feel honored lol jp ... but a response in any way, sheape or form would be greatly appreciated

Hey man...

Erections have only been a problem with me when I masturbated to porn too much. I experienced much less libido around ex girlfriends and did have times when I couldn't get it up. Very awkward. The most recent time this happened was in 2010, actually the last time I had vaginal intercourse with a woman. My ED was mild and directly connected to porn.

I experience no ED when I don't look at porn or masturbate. I can have an erection with just fantasy but when my mind wanders in that direction I choose to avoid it so as not to set myself up to want to masturbate. That says nothing about my subconscious though. Since I came a week or so ago I've already had two seperate wet dreams. I attribute this partly to stress however.

If presented with sex I have no doubt about "performance" but I prefer not to think about it as a performance and would like to focus on bonding behaviors instead of rushing into sex. The problem I will inevitably experience, after this long away from intimacy with a woman is premature ejaculation, not ED.

My libido during this time has been up and down, increasing during times of stress. I think my mind and body knew I would feel better if I just masturbated but I didn't do it. When I ignored the impulse, it went away and I wasn't horny any more. I had much clearer state of mind than in the past.

Confidence, vigor and stamina, sometimes aggression were all there in spades. I became something of a work-aholic this semester and took on enormous responsibilities in a range of fields. Including playing with two bands, working two part time jobs, being an activist and of course all the while working out and holding down full time graduate school classes. I am at the end of that run and I don't recommend it. I needed to save time to feed my soul. For me that is more AA meetings and I'm looking into meditation and yoga for the summer/next semester.

I don't think I experienced any unique traits as a result of abstaining. Rather my own unique traits that were there all along had a chance to develop along more or less natural lines. As I continued the physical work outs I noticed a change in my body becoming more muscular and that increased my confidence and got me more attention from the ladies. A lot of good progress happening there with my whole attitude and outlook on women.

The higher the months really didn't matter. I literally had the same type of experience three months in as six months in. My libido was something that was always there but was way more in the background, like it was easier not to notice it. I still looked at and was attracted to women but I didn't experience the kind of anxiety around them that I used to like I really wanted to talk to them and didn't, it was more like that's nice, now what's on my agenda now.

Looking back I know I masturbated in the middle of the night because I was stressed out. Something I experienced was I would be horny in my dream and then I would wake up still horny and before I was fully conscious I had given myself permission to masturbate. The problem was when I woke up and was conscious of it "hey what the fuck I'm masturbating" instead of stopping I let it take it's course.

I'm back on the path again which I must say is much easier now than before when I masturbated multiple times a week, sometimes multiple times a day...for the majority of my life.

Maybe your brain wanted to

Maybe your brain wanted to confirm that this wasn't going to make the stressors go away. Stressors that I wired to using PMO as relief from are still more triggering than new stressors. I've got wrestle with the old ones and persuade my brain that PMO isn't going to help.

It's hard to have a perfect wrestling record. Even superman has his kryptonite.

You can't go back. That 9 months less a day is forever part of who you are.

I've learned from PMO after a long stint of abstinence. At first, one can be caught up in the need for abstinence and the struggle. Then, one can shift to a calmer observer. One can do what one wants with the information observed. It can take time to come fully back to presence because at first there may be some guilt about seeming to be back where one began. A man who has summited a mountain does not view the base of the mountain in the same way as a man who is beginning his first ascent.

Good job Dano

No point in trying to make the Guinness Book of World Records on nofap. The goal is balance.

Hope one of the goddesses snaps you up pronto as soon as you have some time in your schedule.

Great posts as always

DC: I can definitely relate to the feeling of disappointment after "giving in". I agree with Marnia that in itself there is relatively little point in going for the record books, but there is a pride in being "master of your domain" that giving up PMO can give you. However, personal experience is that it is relatively smooth sailing to get back on the wagon. There's also a difference between one episode and a massive PMO binge, or days of binges. All in all, things are very different for you now than they were when you started the reboot process. A relapse doesn't wipe out the other benefits that have accrued during your reboot: new friendships, new activities, physique etc, and new balance.

Thanks man

That's the one I struggle with most these days. Used to be porn...I use the same techniques to bat away urges as I did with PMO. Getting healthier and staying that way (this time around) started with kicking porn.

Hey buddy, I'm glad to see

Hey buddy, I'm glad to see you did so well. I have a question for you. You mentioned above that your were hugely productive the last semester, would you attribute any of that to your abstinence? From a dopamine/reward center context it should make sense, not that you were lazy before or anything. Obviously you had more time to do things now that you weren't fapping, but what I want to know is did you just feel more motivated to get things accomplished. I need the motivation right now so if you want you can just lie to me and say YES and I'll let the placebo just take it's course :). Just wondering, I'm glad to see you're doing well my friend.

Here's some motivation

Gary saw today:

http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/tjltr/thank_you_nofap_thank_you/
 
I'm here to thank you people for helping me so much! After is saw the Ted : demise of guys i knew my problem, and since then i've been pornfree and that makes something over 2 months, thou not so long for fapfree but getting there. That short clip made me so sick of porn that i know for 100% i wont watch porn in rest of my life. But how Nofap helped me? Well very much and thats why i want to thank you guys!

  • My ED is getting better, almost gone.
  • Lost my virginity(at age 23).
  • Got my first girlfriend.
  • Started school again.
  • Stopped smoking.
  • Got promotion in work.
  • Supremely in better shape.

All this after bit over 2 months and behind that is 10 years of PMO. So here i am to thank you all, you have honestly saved my life. I will keep the flag up!
PS: Sorry for bad english, aint my first language.

How funny is that, I had just

How funny is that, I had just read that an was thinking to myself, I wonder what's going on over at reuniting? It's weird, deep down I know that my motivation to start being more productive will improve once I stop but my addicted brain keeps saying otherwise. It's like the study from Vanderbilt about being a go getter or a slacker depends on the amount of dopamine in the left prefrontal cortex. So being a brain guy, I did a bunch of research that led me to conclusion that while stopping the addiction may not turn me into a productive superman, it is definitely my best bet. I just have to get through to my stupid addicted brain so that it'll leave me alone :).