This is a short summary of the last few months.
Today is day 204 of no PMO. To be honest I don't really count days anymore because this has been a total change of how I live my life. I don't think about masturbating or porn that much anymore. I do get urges however and I do experience wet dreams about a month and a half apart and they don't phase me at all. It's all about how you deal with them (urges and dreams.) I don't have anyone in my immediate network who is attempting this kind of lifestyle so I'm very grateful for reuniting.info in helping me so much to achieve this goal.
I have told one person I respect recently about how long it has been since PMO and I think it affected him and he had an interest in trying it too but I noticed that he put a little distance between us after I told him. Oh well, could very well have been an utterly different reason that he needed to do other things. After all, we are both up to our eyeballs with work.
This has been the toughest and also the most rewarding semester of grad school. I'm really hitting my stride, firing on all cylinders and some of the political work I started last semester is beginning to pay off modestly. At the same time this week I've had to back off of politics to focus on academics, which I have been neglecting. Even now I'm procrastinating but I will have time to work before my meeting and evening class from 4-8:30. When I get home it's right back to work.
I made a pretty big change this year. On January 22, 2012 I went to an AA meeting for the first time in months, this time with the intent to continue to attend indefinitely. I've written before how I believe myself to have multiple addictions, haha probably even wrote that from behind a marijuana fog! Even as I was drinking and smoking pot I knew that life had the potential to be even better. The impulse to quit PMO and the impulse to be sober from drugs and alcohol are very connected in my mind.
So these are just a handful of reasons you haven't seen my posts lately but I will make the effort to check in with updates as the opportunities arise. I especially want to talk to those fellows who are experiencing the cycle of relapse/shame/quit/shame/relapse cycle. (I made up that little sequence, but that's how it was for me.)
Talk to y'all soon.