I Like What You've Done With The Place

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Submitted by Dano_Clarke on
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This is a short summary of the last few months.

Today is day 204 of no PMO. To be honest I don't really count days anymore because this has been a total change of how I live my life. I don't think about masturbating or porn that much anymore. I do get urges however and I do experience wet dreams about a month and a half apart and they don't phase me at all. It's all about how you deal with them (urges and dreams.) I don't have anyone in my immediate network who is attempting this kind of lifestyle so I'm very grateful for reuniting.info in helping me so much to achieve this goal.

I have told one person I respect recently about how long it has been since PMO and I think it affected him and he had an interest in trying it too but I noticed that he put a little distance between us after I told him. Oh well, could very well have been an utterly different reason that he needed to do other things. After all, we are both up to our eyeballs with work.

This has been the toughest and also the most rewarding semester of grad school. I'm really hitting my stride, firing on all cylinders and some of the political work I started last semester is beginning to pay off modestly. At the same time this week I've had to back off of politics to focus on academics, which I have been neglecting. Even now I'm procrastinating but I will have time to work before my meeting and evening class from 4-8:30. When I get home it's right back to work.

I made a pretty big change this year. On January 22, 2012 I went to an AA meeting for the first time in months, this time with the intent to continue to attend indefinitely. I've written before how I believe myself to have multiple addictions, haha probably even wrote that from behind a marijuana fog! Even as I was drinking and smoking pot I knew that life had the potential to be even better. The impulse to quit PMO and the impulse to be sober from drugs and alcohol are very connected in my mind.

So these are just a handful of reasons you haven't seen my posts lately but I will make the effort to check in with updates as the opportunities arise. I especially want to talk to those fellows who are experiencing the cycle of relapse/shame/quit/shame/relapse cycle. (I made up that little sequence, but that's how it was for me.)

Talk to y'all soon.



Sure...why not? haha

It's the only way for me to turn my back on porn, masturbation and orgasm. The next time I have an orgasm will be in a loving relationship. As far as that goes, I mustn't worry about *when* that will happen. I do have confidence that it *will* happen as long as I am working on my goals. It wouldn't make any sense for me to start masturbating again after going this long. My goal is to find a relationship with the right person, until then I maintain a celibate lifestyle because that is what is best for me. I have increased self-esteem and energy because of it and also I find that women I am attracted to are more often attracted to me. Because I've become very picky (before I would grasp at the nearest available fix ...er person) I have even turned some attractive ladies down or not pursued them when I could have for various reasons...mainly to keep myself in balance.

Always great

to hear from you. I'm so proud of all your accomplishments and determination...with the politics and the music and the school. Wow!

And as for the "redecoration," you ain't seen nuthin' yet. A new design is on the way. (I'm building suspense here...)

Do people tell you that you

Do people tell you that you look like superman? A new guy acquaintance said this to me recently. It was kind of weird. No one else has said that. I wonder what he saw that triggered that as I don't look like him.

Not really.

Don't think I've gotten that one ever. It's more of a personal totem to feel I can make any change I want in my lifestyle and that will allow me to fly. It's already happening.

Much Respect.

Your journey has been and continues to be an inspiration. Well done!

I can relate with your voluntary celibacy. Once you've worked so hard to reset your brain and heal your body from addiction, why squander it with meaningless sex? Maybe I will feel differently once I am fully rebooted and will go on a lusty rampage, but my only real dream now is to find a sweet girl that I can deeply connect with, curl up with her and melt into her.

Who knew the reboot would bring out the romantic in me?

Continued success on all fronts, DC. You're a walking can of whoop-ass!


Me too buddy.

"(M)y only real dream now is to find a sweet girl that I can deeply connect with, curl up with her and melt into her." It's a way better that way man.

There have been situations I had to take myself out of to avoid "meaningless sex." I actually went on a date and went almost all the way (well I could have) but at that point in the night it just didn't seem worth it. I spent the night on the couch and got the hell out of there and have tried not to take any approach from someone who doesn't feel like she could be "deep connection" material now. Anything less simply isn't worth it. Frankly, I prefer the occasional dreams to settling for less!

How do you assess deep

How do you assess deep connection? It's not easy to when so many are wired for almost no connection before sex. My experience is one just sort of knows and can't even look for it.

Is that approach making the females more jumpy?

I think you answered the question.

Someone you know in your bones you could be with for a long time. Not someone who is "ok for now" but would be able to walk away from at some point in the future. That has been my m.o. since my first girlfriend left me about 15 years ago.

Nice work Dano, we really

Nice work Dano, we really need to hear of more success stories like yours! Quite an achievement.

And you've TURNED DOWN attractive ladies?!? That takes some commitment. Hope it pays off big-time for you :)


Man, congrats. To go 200+ days is amazing. Your success has inspired me, and illustrated that it is possible to go the distance. This PMO is such a psychological game, often in the past when I've gotten to 20 days or so I think, gosh its not humanly possible to carry on any further,no one does, but you've proved that to be an illusion.


I know those feelings very well. I knew "some day" it would be me....but I didn't realize when or how. You don't have to suffer anymore. Keep going and every time you try and fail you gotta dust yourself off and try again.