Day 16 now.
Spent the weekend with my girlfriend, I've so far been having sex with her during my no pmo (which is really just been me giving up porn and masturbation)
Unfortuantely 2 nights ok i masterbated to orgasm whilst i was with my girlfriend. I don't feel like i should start again though, as i was with her and my challenge was to not masterbate whilst on my own.
However i am getting urges towards porn and masterbation again today. I don't want to return to internet porn though. I really think it's just a new level of danger, and i believe i can resist and rid myself of it. After a weekend of sex (3 instances) though, i have noticed changes again.
I noticed a change in my craving for sex after my first orgasm with my girlfriend, and also my general desire for her changed. Not into anything bad like i didn't care for her or want to be around her. But it's different when i'm really horny and want to have sex with her.
Right now it's hard for me to imagine never watching porn again - i'd got used to watching others have sex and it's proving hard to let go of. It's great to have sex as well but i really did enjoy watching porn sometimes. I mean really is it that different to some of the other activities we do for pleasure? Eating, drinking, watching TV? The biggest difference is that you do it in private of course.
I don't really have an urge or craving to open up a porn site in my browser right now, but i'd happily put on a dvd or something. Something with an actual concept etc.
Is this dangerous? I'm not sure, I mean I believe internet porn is dangerous. fullstop. certainly. But porn in general i'm not so sure. Every now and again? Watching a dvd? Maybe not as harmful, or is it? Ah i dunno, I just don't think i'm ready to completely give this up, i guess i'm a bit like a marujuana smoker who stops chain smoking 4 times a week, to just having the odd spliff twice a week.
P.s thank you for the link to the barry schwarz TED - a great video that really gives an insight into why internet porn (and it's unlimited amount of 'choice') is really bad.