Submitted by diamondsoul22 on
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hey guys,

wow it seems like the last time i blogged was just a couple of days ago. time really does fly.

well in anycase, things have been going well. im on like day 24 or so. the only thing is like maybe about a week and a half ago i ended up binging on a bunch of sugar. So im curious to see if i'll feel its effects in the next couple of days.

besides that things have been going really good. i just got back from a really cool place a few days ago. I went out a couple of nights ago with a roomate to a bar. the bar is not really my scene but it was just nice to get out and see different people.

ive been keeping up on yoga. im gonna go later today

I actually went out with a guy last night that i met on a dating website. we had been postponing for about a week. i had a good time. he bought me dinner at a really cool place.
the conversation was very fluid and easy going and overall i found him to be a really nice guy. physically and culturally, es not the type that im attracted to, yet there were other things about his personality and his lifestyle that i found to be attractive. Im not sure if he'll call me back, but if he does I would be willing to go out with him again, even if we just stay friends...or if it just leads to a night on his couch cuddling. He's extremely easy going and laid back so it takes off a good deal of pressure from having to take things anywhere.


Fell off

Ok so I slipped back into old habits today ming oing fantasizing. Have been more sexually frustrated than usual the past couple of days.
Could be due to different things; Not quite sure what. Hoping to find some guy to cuddle with soon. I'm off for the next day so I just wanna try to get centered again.

what about the guy you were talking about

just wondering how that's going.

It's really important to identify those times when you habitually feel like masturbating, and replacing those times, those situations, with new behaviors. For instance, if you do it to fall alseep, instead start reading a book for awhile and then go to bed only after you can't keep your eyes open. That type of thing.


He hasn't responded back

Hey Emerson. Thanks for your response. Yes your absolutely right. I need to train myself to swich gears and do something constructive when I feel those urges coming on.

As for the guy I went on a date with last week,, I texted him a few hours ago after being away at work for several days but he hasn't replied Sad

Insult to injury

So last night It probably didn't help that I ended up binging on a huge amount of junk food and looked at craigslist adds, then m'd and o'd into the very late evening. Not to mention that I've been feeling sick since I got back from work yesturday morning. The level of sexual tension I felt yesterday evening was just over the top.

Here we go again.

Does the tension being higher

Does the tension being higher or MO likelihood map to your menstrual cycle? Women might need to be more creative at times to stay balanced.

Junk food, junk bonding. It gets us all at times. It doesn't have to continue in that way. Go out of the house to be where there are people or nature.

Probably differs

but that classic need for more and more masturbation is likely "chaser," that is due to the brain's "binge mechanism" firing up. As best we can tell, the more deltaFosB that accumlates...the more risk of other, longer lasting changes.

day 2

hey guys just stopping by to give an update.

will be pretty busy at work for the next couple of days. have been feeling sick these past few days with what appears to be a head/chest cold. im slowly recovering, and trying to stay away from as much sugar and junk as possible.

day 4

at home today, off after three days of work. i worked through my cold which was a little bit challenging. in any case im just lounging around the house today. Im gonna go out to eat later with my roommates. I cant reiterate enough how nice it is to be living with other people.

i started getting symptoms of being sick before the binge. im thinking it could have been from excessive working, but the symptoms escalated the day of binge.

emotion wise, im feeling mediocre overall. despite my accomplishments since the end of last year, i still find myself questioning my purpose and what im supposed to really be doing with my life. i try to remind myself of all the great changes that ive made over the years including the recent big ones though. i guess we'll see where life takes me

no, no word from that guy!

no, no word from that guy! its all right. though ill im sure somebody's bound to turn up. Ive made it my goal to be very open minded about men and not think about whether they have long term potential or not, just whether they have cuddle potential.

really hope i do figure out my purpose sooner or later.

day 5

just hung around the house today and relaxed. i slept alot and watched a really good movie with my roomies. was a relaxing day overall. my cold is still lingering. hoping i'll feel brand new by thurs when i have to go back to work.

day 7

so far so good. yesterday was a very relaxing and enjoyable day. i got out and got to be around nature.
Im leaving town tonight - back to work after three relaxing days.

Day 10

Stopping by for an update. Nothing significant going on in the past few days. Nothing major to report. I did get to visit a new place the other day and I really enjoyed my time there. I think I may have had an erotic dream last night; it's very vague though. Im working today and feeling pretty tired.....That's about it.

day 12

so i ended up having a very erotic dream during a nap this afternoon, and a moderately erotic dream last night. The one this afternoon got me so on edge that when i woke up i started heavily fantasizing. Not sure if this threw me off in anyway, but in anycase, i just went about my day.. i made it to yoga yesterday and today so i was pretty happy about that. Im also trying to start back up my gratitude journa againl. Tomorrow i head back to work for the next four days-the next adventure begins! good night!

Day 14

Today I'm feeling so so. I find thoughts about people from my past creeping up on me. Sometimes life seems unfair. Im happy to have finally taken a step towards bettering my life, but I just feel like there's so many things wrong that I left behind. I wish I could learn to forgive and gain more clarity

Things wrong functionally or

Things wrong functionally or people to forgive? Forgiveness of people is a process. I've found it most helpful to not be satisfied with low level forgiveness (often more of a tolerance of what is out of mind) and instead to focus on assembling as best as possible that other's perspective from portions of others' experiences they are willing to share. This enables love to emerge on the other side of forgiveness. Now I'm wondering how to do that for more immediate family members and ultimately myself. I know what is possible. I'm not sure that technique is transferable ad infinitum.

It's hard not to

"go there." You have indeed had some major challenges.

When I have the urge to dwell on morose thoughts I try to remind myself that, "there are more pearls of insight found in the sea of wisdom than in the trash can of old conditioning." Smile

It helps me drop the thoughts and go find something inspiring to read. One of my favorites is here: