2 weeks!

Submitted by dmandan on
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i've made it 2 weeks! but, man its been a struggle! i hope this gets easier. My addiction pathways needs stimulation. Everytime i'm on the computer, my brain wants a dopamine rush. I find my self trying to find sexually stimulating material only to be blocked by my porn blocker. I;ve also been searching for stuff on youtube. I realize that searching is part of the novelty, so i slam my laptop shut and gtfo out of there. BUt its still not good.! I can feel an instantaneous dopamine rush just from sexy thumbnails on youtube!

But there are some positives from this struggle! Every time i have one of these brain battles between my reward circuitry and my rational brain, and i'm able to walk away. I feel stronger after. I'm weakening my addiction pathway i think! although i can't but help but feel bad that i even searched or saw a sexy image or video.

I've also noticed that even when i have a setback, it's still a positive in that... I used to PMO pretty much everynight. Sometime multiple times a night to porn vids. Now i find very softcore stuff on youtube or the more artsy pics give me a huge rush. when before i would have just gone straight to the more hardcore stuff.