Hi, I'm rather new here although I have read the book Cupid's Poisoned Arrow.
I just wanted to share my journey, struggles and insights... and hopefully provide an extra impulse for me to kick old habits that have been hanging around for the last 20 years.
Last month I managed to go three and a half weeks without having an orgasm and it felt wonderful. I felt more alive then I ever have before. After the three week mark the idea of being in a relationship seemed to lose it's magic and I went back to old habits.
I want to try again but I know I need a strong impulse to get me through the first few weeks... that's why I'm writing my journey down here where there are eyes to see what I am doing.
Some things that have worked:
Dancing - For the last few months I've started dancing. This is a great way to make a human connection. I love it... and I wish I started 20 yrs ago. One change that started to take place in my while I was dancing was that my desires changed to wanting real genuine affection rather than just sex or fantasies.
Dancing also helps you to learn how to consider your partner, learn how to lead and to experience the feeling of being nurtured.
Genital massage - I never thought this would work because it seemed contrary to avoiding orgasm. If the focus is therapeutic rather than orgasmic it seems to be great way to relieve stress. In fact the first time I did it I fell asleep for over 2 hours afterwards. It still puts me to sleep but when I wake up the cravings have eased.
Well, here I go... first step...
Day 1 Mon:
The first thing that has happened was that I had a wet dream. I kind of have to laugh because my body seems to be protesting this new effort and decided it's just going to do what it wants anyway.
Day 2 Tue:
Kept myself busy the whole day so nothing much to report. Did some Yoga in the morning and I'm just about to do some meditation before going to sleep.
Day 3 Wed:
Once again a busy day and I wasn't really expecting anything as cravings usually start around day four. I'm just getting into the habit of writing down my thoughts each day as I think this might help me when things do get a bit crazy.
Day 4 Thur:
As expected the cravings have begun intermittently but I'm just observing myself rather than caving in to them. Went to a dancing lesson tonight also even though I really wasn't feeling at all sociable.
Day 5: Fri
I'm feeling a little numb about everything. Even though I went to a dancing lesson last night I'm still feeling quite anti-social and insecure. It doesn't seem likely I'll have an opportunity to practice Karezza with anybody anytime soon but I'm still enjoying the dancing.
Day 6: Sat
Well the cravings have hit. I was doing some work on the computer and turned over to look at some P before stopping myself. What am I doing!? I'm going to go and do some push ups and then go for a jog. Damn these cravings... I do most of my work on the computer and it's so easy to flick over to something else. I'm considering blocking the entire internet except for certain sites that I need for work and a few others like this site... it's a hassle but probably what I need. Just have to find out how to do it.
The cravings seem to have eased since yesterday. Just getting ready to move into week 2!