New and first entry

Submitted by Dream47 on
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I've been reading the blog entries and I wanted to join the community for some time now.

I'm a virgin and a college student, and I used to be addicted to pornography and masturbation. However, coming across the Cupid's Poisoned Arrow by chance, it changed my world. I... no, my body agreed with every statement of the book. Reading the book was like the "The Truth will set you free" period.

That urge to release has lost so much force, because... to simply put it, why? It's weird, because I almost could taste that unified state that is so commonly described from so many karezza accounts. It's as if my body somehow realized the unrealized. It's like how the human baby knows that it needs to be fed and knows how to feed itself without prior "education" or "experience". I know that the book makes this point somewhat, but seeing the majority of karezza practioners' accounts declaring that conventional sex has lost much of its appeal to them because of how satisfying and fulfilling karezza is, I'm convinced that karezza is as natural as orgasm, if not more.

Since then, I wasn't perfect in staying off, but to put a number down, I would say that I'm 98% recovered. To put it bluntly, that multiple times of releasing during the day is now reduced to maybe once or twice a month.

As I have started meditating recently, I can see how karezza is arguably the ultimate form of meditation.

At the same time, I find Cupid's Poisoned Arrow to be as much a philosophical book. It's odd, but I have even found much value in applying the way of goalless living, yet with full awareness and intention into the present into my everyday life.

Well, that's a lot of honest blabber from a virgin.
I'm really happy that I can now freely ask questions about this topic and even have the opportunity to interact with THE author of the book! I hope to continue learning from the wisdom and experience of all the members here.




I only state that I'm a virgin to point out that I have no sexual experience. However, it's true that I have little dating experience, but I do socialize regularly. When I had no control over my porn and masturbation habit, I used to objectify women even as I was talking to them, but interestingly enough, I remember distinctly what happened after I was off porn and masturbation for about a 100 days. I was talking to a girl and I wasn't objectifying her, and we were about to have a relationship before I left the country. The longer I had more control over myself, the less I became "interested" in dating, and the more I realized many areas of self-improvement as a human being. Currently, I have no interest in dating.


It's great to have you here. This is not a situation where the "author knows all," however. All of us here are exploring and sharing notes.

It's interesting that you sense a "deep knowing" of some type about such experiences. Very gnostic - where experience trumps theories. I hope you soon have a partner to experiment with, because this is a partnered practice. The influx of the wonderful men who arrived as a result of their excessive porn use has been an unexpected bonus. Congratulations on getting your porn habit under control. It seems to be one of your generation's biggest challenges.


Of course, but there are decades' worth of knowledge here to explore.

I describe it like some sort of "deep knowing", but it was largely due to the book's accounts of karezza practitioners. Also, that "deep knowing" is also due to the fact that my experiences of instability after release was scientifically and anecdotally documented.
Reading dozens of the accounts allowed for solidification of a vicarious experience, to which I credit the sudden loss of appeal of release. Having had bits of meditation experience at the time, to me, the accounts described a much heightened meditative and pleasurable state. So, the fact that I've no real experience made me describe it like "deep knowing".

It's like having found out about a restaurant after eating fast food for so long and reading all the reviews. I haven't tasted the food of the restaurant per se, but I know experientially what it means when reviewers uniformly use the words "succulent", "balsamic", "delectable", and "so much better than that fast food restaurant". So, I develop a preconceived notion about this restaurant which also seems to have no price for its food. I can only imagine the taste till I find out for real, but in the meanwhile, I definitely know the taste of that fast food restaurant. It's just that I get to enter this particular restaurant only once I have a partner! :)

I hope more and more people find this site, because it really is an eye opener.


That is fantastic! I know the feeling - a revolution to one's entire approach to intimacy! I come from a very different set of circumstances (female for one, rape victim/sexual abuse survivor for another) and my therapist recommended the book to me. It gave me some hope for the future (I am also uncoupled though, so no experiential knowledge yet). Anyway- keep up the reading, asking questions, and use this forum (and all the archives, too). I wish you the best and hope you find a willing partner. :)