17 years old , day 60

Submitted by dublife on
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I reached the point were i have 60 days of no Porn and Masturbation , I know it should feel like a very big deal, but i don't feel neither pozitive or negative. Last night i went clubbing with my girlfriend , a friend of mine and the rest were my girlfriend friends , most of them i already meet , and most of them were girls. I had a nice time, I drank alot, i danced, per total i had a good time. My girlfriend got very dizzy and i convinced her it's better to sleep at my place. We went home and sleep , we woke up and we got some cuddle, the wierd thing is that i realized that I don't feel so aroused by her, i got hard but not that hard, and even when she started to give me a handjob it felt good but i didn't feel the heat i thought i will. Is this becouse i am in flatline state? (i'm not really sure if my flatline even started) I really have some kind of flashes in my head, like I know how it should feel. Tell me if i'm wrong, but i should feel very heated , especialy around my head , and my penis, i should emit like a sexual vibe and get possesed by an animalic wish , makeing love with that specific female , or potential mates. But i didn't felt that much down there, is this becouse of the flatline and if I O with my GFs help i will get my libido and sexdrive back and improved? I really wish from bottom of my heart to make some progress with this reboot and start feeling what i should, to be able to perform , to have a healhy brain, healthy and strong erections . And in the end to be good performer , a keeper for girls. I really want to talk to someone about this and recive some encouragements. With all due respect, dublife.

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My last ejaculation was via a

My last ejaculation was via a wet dream, 2 days ago. I don't remember any hangover. Last time i orgasmed with my GF's help was 20 days ago. no hangover either. Last night i got a wierd dream, some wierd things happend. At a point in my dream i was watching TV and got to porn by mastake , i wactched like for 2 seconds and after that i changed the channel fast and got sad and upset with the thaught that i relapsed, i conforted myself that is not such a big deal. To understand how ugly my dream is i tell you a short version of it . I had a fight on the phone with my girlfriend. I met a baby that surprisingly was MINE with an ex girlfriend. The kid was rasied by some gypsys that didn't know the child is mine, later on the baby covered in a black bud was sort of protected by an crow or a raven with human head (long hair , beard , ugly teeth)i shaked his "hand" and i asked if i can hold it for a while, he said no. Well i don't if i should belive in dream signs but this is telling me that i want my girlfriend to put more in this relationship but this isn't going to happen, i predict a breakup (i really hope not ,and i'm not the type of guy beliving in dreams) and a period of depresion and loneliness .