17 years old Sex failed attempt , 1month of no P/M , dreamed about porn

Submitted by dublife on
Printer-friendly version

So today is being fulfilled my first month of rebooting , were I did not watch porn or masturbate, but got a few orgasms from my girlfriend via handjob (alot of cuddle before those orgasm to occure)
So, last night i was in bed with my gf, cuddleing and stuff, i went down on her and i made her cum twice (she is a virgin, i said more about her in my previous blog) and then she said she wanted to do it....and in that second, for no reason , i freaked out (without showing that to her), before me going on top of her for penetration i was hard enough to work it out, but when i got on top, my penis instantly limped. I was embaresed and taught to that for some time that night....she taught i was not attracted to her or something in the firstplace but i explained she is not the problem and i can't have an erection whenever i want...so things chilled out , we tryed few times . This few times were a bit different, got hard and went on top of her, stayed hard but when i tryed to penetrate my erection got weaker but for my sake she was hurting too much so i would stop every time i tryed, so another 2-3 attempts and we gave up , for the rest of the night we cuddle and she again gave me a handjob. Some advices on how i overcome this anxiety?

The other problem goes like this , last night i dreamed i was watching porn and masturbating, imediatly when the action started i realized that this is bad and i stopped , the bad thing is that in my dream i relapsed. What is the meaning of this and what i should do about it?

Comments

you probably need a little longer

to not use porn, or masturbate. It takes some guys a bit longer. Make sure to reassure her that she is really hot. That's very important. And it is better, really, to avoid hand jobs, sorry to say, for just a little while, to get your sensitivity back up. 

Just a little more time will I am sure set things right. 

I've gotten rid of various addictions and always had relapse dreams for awhile. The brain is getting things sorted out. It is quite normal to dream of relapse and feel guilty about it in your dream. Just a sign of good progress!

What a relief, it's nice to

What a relief, it's nice to know that this si a good sign.
Can you estimate the time I should regain my sensitivity , that would help me alot. And since you have tremendous more experience in this than me, what should i tell my girlfriend to avoid those handjobs , i really don't want her to know about my problems.
About my anxiety problem, do you think a going to a psychologist will help? If not, what should i do ? I am open to anything that could help me. I really want to experience the real deal, the real desire of makeing love with a women and merge with her. I am very passionate about this .

Passion is good, but

performance pressure isn't. If your body/brain is not back in balance yet, then forcing yourself to perform isn't helping.

I thought you already explained to your girlfriend that you're working on getting your sexual responsiveness back. It's fine to tell her you need to take it easy. Tell her you've been reading that the Chinese Taoists say too frequent ejaculation isn't good, so you're experimenting with cutting back (libido sometimes drops off for a bit after you cut back on porn: "Help! I quit porn, but my potency, genital size, and libido are decreasing").

Ask her if you can focus on her for a few weeks to give you time to test the theory. Here's a book that talks about these theories: CHIA.book or this one Tantric Sex For Men

You'll be fine, but my advice is to respect your body's timing. Endless foreplay can be very satisfying for both of you in the meantime. Real lovemaking doesn't have to look anything like porn vids. Trust me.