427 days of no P or M

Submitted by eaglesunrise87 on
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So it's been about a year and two months since I first came across this site in August 2010 and decided to give up porn and masturbation. I guess it's safe to say I've rebooted.

Sexual health has greatly improved and I've become a lot more open minded/kinkier. I'm now almost six months deep into what is the longest normal relationship I've ever had. This is the second relationship I've had since rebooting (the first one lasted 3 or 4 months before fizzling out) but before August last year I really only had relationships based on booty calls. I think that's saying something right here: in the past year I've been in a healthy adult relationships for 9 out of the last 12 months; yet none prior to this (I'm 25 years old). Also, for the first time in my life I enjoy performing oral sex on a girl (compared to pre-reboot, never would have happened). Anyway, in the last year, I've probably slept with 12+ girls (I'm a good looking guy lol) and haven't had any problems, other than ejaculating too quickly during a one night stand but in hindsight I could care less, and kinda just laugh about it now.

Still, I've had mental health issues which at times, were pretty severe. Anxiety (which peaked with a panic attack in late August 2011, a couple weeks after stopping) and depression have come and gone - I've actually been taking St. John's Wort to help with the anxiety and depression since March. While I think any psychological problems are too complicated to associate directly with PMO, they are noteworthy since PMO allegedly contributes to dopamine tolerance. A lot of this has to do with grad school, culture shock (living and traveling abroad), and generalized anxiety about my career (I'm transitioning as a student to employment). One major thing I noticed, psychologically, is that my priorities have transitioned. I feel like stopping PMO has accelerated my aging to the point where I'm caught up to where I should be. Before, I always looked really young, facial hair was patchy, occasional pimples. Now... I definitely look older, pubic hair and facial hair feels thicker, more confidence in social situations (especially with adults, who I now see as peers). Problem is, now that my priorities have changed, the values that used to motivate me and define me as a person (exploring the world, helping people, experiencing new cultures etc) is being suppressed. It just makes me feel really lost in my life right now. I'm sure in a few months I'll have things sorted but it's definitely been a rollercoaster. Emotionally, physically, socially, existentially. Dunno if this has to do much with anything but figured I'd mention it.

Bottom line, it's very possible to give up PMO for a healthy sex life. It may bring, or contribute, to other psychological issues to the surface though, especially anxiety and depression. Best of luck everyone!

Comments

great

This was a great update. I'm glad to hear your doing so well. Don't worry about the future things will balance out.
You'll be fine

~L4L

Good to get your report

Could you possibly be ejaculating too frequently? Sounds crazy, but some brains are more sensitive than others and it can cause depression. Gary, for example, had chronic depression (as did his mom), but when we got together he switched to karezza (lots of intercourse, very few orgasms) his mood gradually stabilized. Depression is gone. He's still amazed.

Did you see this article? Men: Does Frequent Ejaculation Cause a Hangover?

Might be worthwhile cutting backĀ  on "kinky" and "hot" a bit, especially now that you have a sweetie. For more on karezza: http://www.reuniting.info/karezza_korner_intro

Congratulations on all your progress. Excellent work!