EdgingAddict87's blog

My 3 months without orgasm

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

So, I went about 3 months without orgasm. In this time, I did edge and watch pornography. I just could not quit. However, for whatever reason I found myself able to control my orgasm and completely abstain in that sense pretty easily. A few notes:

I had a sweetheart waiting for me overseas, which gave me the motivation needed to see it through. Without her, I don't think I would have been able to do it.

A chance for extended Karezza soon, after some advice.

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

Here's the situation:

I'm 26. Have used too much porn in the past. Have never had a relationship, but am relatively sexually experienced - though it has always been with women I have no feelings for and am only moderately attracted to.

At the moment I'm at about 7 weeks without orgasm.

In about 6 weeks from now I'm going to meet a girl I met while on holiday, and will spend a few months with her.

I've never felt so attracted to a woman like I am with her. Her touch gives me butterflies and her smile makes my heart melt.

Different environment, still the same

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

The fact that I've been consumed by porn shows, I think, that i have a major character defect. I don't believe I consciously chose to be addicted, but the fact that there was no choice makes things worse. It means that my very nature is slovenly and weak, that in a modern environment this is just my natural state.

Fetishes and paraphillias while abstaining

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

When I'm really stressed and horny, my more unconventional sexual behaviours begin to rear their heads. Things that I generally keep under control and see as inferior and less pleasurable than partner sex suddenly feel really thrilling. For me, it's exhibitionism, voyeurism and panty sniffing. I don't want to do these things because afterwards I feel extremely ashamed because they involve invading another's privacy, or imposing myself on them.

As time goes by it gets harder, not easier.

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

I usually look at amateur sites. The thought of all the new stuff on there after 2 weeks is extremely exciting - let alone after a few months +.

I think the most difficult part about excessive porn use is that the longer you go without, the more that new content builds up, & the more tempting it is.

Anyone tried therapy?

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

Just curious. I've tried beating this thing by myself & keep failing miserably. I need to try a different approach, & have decided to start seeing a sexual psychologist. It's going to be reasonably expensive, & I can't see how I'll get any information that I wouldn't get here, but maybe having someone to actually physically speak to and empthasize with me will help something click in my brain & create more success.

Emptiness and anxiety.

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

I made it to around 12 days without P & O, but days 9 - 12 were horrible. For the first few days I'd tell myself that the negative feelings that accompany, and linger after a porn binge are worse than relieving the restlessness and temptation I felt in that very moment.

Reconciling Karezza with Masculinity

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

The last few weeks this has been giving me trouble. I've been feeling down, so my ego has been pronounced & fragile.

In the sexual world, it seems as though whether they admit it openly or not, most women want to be ravished. There are exceptions, sure, but on the whole if a man does not take charge & fuck as if overcome by desire, he's seen as weak & less attractive.

Good & Bad Sources of Dopamine

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

I'd to make a list, input much appreciated. Here's what I have to start with.

Good:

Exercise (Gym)
Exercise (Sports)
Friendly competition with friends
Socializing with friends
Karezza*

Average:

Television
Video Games*
Music

Bad:

Junk Food
Gambling
Pornography
Unhealthy risk taking

*I'm not sure how much Dopamine Karezza releases, & videogames with no end point such as world of warcraft could be considered by some in the bad category.

The Male Period - Explanation for Relapses?

Submitted by EdgingAddict87 on

I have relapsed at roughly the same point about 4 times now. & while I have never monitored it, I've always felt my mood seems to go up & down with a fair amount of regularity- the only difference being the severity of the swings, not their existence. They are always there.

I was reading a little about the male "period".

http://themotherhealth.blogspot.com/2009/04/men-have-periods-too.html

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