I said that there was something wrong. That she shouldn't be having sex with me and not getting aroused. It was either hormonal (which I doubt) or it was me, perhaps, and I understood that and want to change so I am no longer a source of pressure and defensiveness.
Sparkles told me that she resented my not involving her at the outset when I decided not to have orgasms. Why didn't I consult with her? Truthfully she said she may not have thought it was a good idea. But she resented my not asking her and she feels she has to assert her individuality and be her own person and make her own decisions.
This is a breakthrough for us. It's good communication and important.
She said she'll read one of the Richardson books now and she said she can't promise anything but that she'll try.
I said that being interested in improvements in her sex drive and sexual enjoyment, just feeling like she desires more desire, is important. And she said it is.
At night she read some of Richardson's Tantric Orgasm for Women and we discussed breasts at length. I read her a few of Rachel's excellent posts and she was very interested. She said that it was true, that she had a defensive reaction and feels a bit nauseated when I touch her breasts but not when she touches her own breasts.