A few thoughts on condoms

emerson's picture
Submitted by emerson on
Printer-friendly version

We don't need condoms anymore but I used them throughout our earlier life when my partner was still worried about making babies...actually until only a few years ago. Note condom discussion here relates to disease free people using condoms for birth control only.

They were the bane of my sex life for a long time.

I experimented with two types, the rubber ones and the plastic ones. For some reason, the plastic ones felt better (meaning more sensation) but where terribly expensive and slipped off far more easily. I forget the brand now. Occasionally I had to go into her vagina fishing out a condom that had come off, and she was a little panicked about becoming fertilized.

Pretty much for all this time condoms did provide the birth control we were seeking and we avoided (to me) more dangerous solutions such as pills or (gasp) vasectomy or IUDs.

But bottom line, condoms are a problem sometimes.

When you go soft, you have to withdraw and put on a new condom once you get hard again. Or else the condom tends to slip off. And, condoms really interfere with sensation and make penetration a little more difficult.

And condoms lend themselves to quicker intercourse. You get really excited, get the condom on, penetrate, and come. Prolonged and more loving intercourse was always harder to achieve for me with condoms -- I would do better with condoms when I went into an erotic boil quickly and reached orgasm quickly.

Although at times condoms were fine and I wondered why it was ever an issue. I'd put it on, enter her, and be fine for a long time.

Weird.

Now that I'm practicing Karezza I'm grateful that I don't need to use a condom anymore. I can't imagine using them at this point, to be honest.

But if I did have to, here is something that I used to find useful. Occasionally I'd have a bout of difficulty with my erections. Anxiety. Whatever. Then I'd look forward to when my partner had her period. Then I didn't need a condom and could "practice" and not feel anxious. During the heaviest two flow days we would forgo sex but the rest of the time, I didn't mind a bit of blood and it was well worth not having to think about using a condom.

If you're having some anxiety after rebooting, you might find this useful to get things going again without having to worry for a few days about a condom.

Comments

Maybe there's room for an

Maybe there's room for an alternative condom. It might be possible today to create some more second skin like condom that works with or without erection. Or what about some sort of strap to keep the condom on? Maybe that's all futile if the female condom can do the job.

there was the Mentor condom

that was sealed at the end so when it fit over your penis there was a sticky seal that made it stay on better. That was a step in the right direction. It is difficult to have intercourse and let loose when you are also mindful of the condom not coming off...

This isn't as good as the female condom idea. But it was an improvement. I don't think they are selling them anymore.

Interesting. It looks like J

Interesting. It looks like J&J owns Mentor now. Did these work or was it good to let the product die off?

Female condoms were hard to get for a while. Few seem to take them even when free. They are not cheap. It seems like a better idea to me based upon the mechanics as it's more like a bushing than a lubricant. I can see how it has a higher failure rate though because the penis shaft isn't lubricating. The condom also has to withstand air pressure from pumping. Cost and failure rate make it a riskier proposition. Used well the failure rate might be similar. And there is less friction with gentler sex.

Sticky seal sounds complicated. Some sort of ring that holds the condom ridge might make more sense. The stresses there should be low provided the condom stays snug enough on the penis girth. Perhaps create a snugger fit in certain spots or use variable thickness materials. Condoms have a higher failure rate when used for longer periods of time. Perhaps that could be solved with newer or more costly materials. Of course, people could avoid condom use if they filter out the STD risks and are wiling to deal with the pregnancy risk in some other way.