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how to increase a woman's sex drive?

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Submitted by emerson on
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any tips on increasing a woman's sex drive?





Probably about 2 billion men on this planet would like to know. If you figure it out, please let the rest of us know! Smile

Ha, ha, C-F-!

Ha, ha, C-F-!

My wife's sex drive has improved this past year or so. Or, her acquiescence to sex has. We have intercourse nearly daily, now.

My wife does a taxing form of yoga -- Bikram -- every other day. That certainly helps keep her body's function in good order.

She also eats well -- large kale salads nearly daily, no wheat or cow' milk, which she is allergic to, periodic fasts. And, I make and serve her good things daily: golden milk (turmeric in coconut milk), bone broth, fermented orange juice.

My wife wants great skin. So, I gently massage her face when we cuddle and during Karezza. I read two health-related websites daily -- GreenMedInfo and Dr. Mercola -- and pass skin-related articles to her. I pointed her to the book, 'The Yoga Face,' which she read and found helpful.

Her budding spirituality possibly helps, also. She has always had confidence in her intuitive sense, and I now embrace and encourage that side of her (until seven years ago, I used to be dismissive, valuing only logic; it was a shock to me, from the Gallup StrengthsFinder test of all members of our family, that not all people think like me, a Spock-like automaton). And, she has always enjoyed a glass or two of wine while cooking or in the evening. Those two elements -- spiritual, intuitive sense and wine -- have now found a new outlet: biodynamic wine. I am an organic vegetable gardener and am exploring biodynamic gardening. I bought her a book on biodynamic wine growing -- we joined a biodynamic wine club last year -- and will visit some biodynamic wineries next month.

So, I am not sure what specifically is going on with my wife's increasing acceptance of sex with me. It could be exercise, nutritious food, budding spirituality ('Godess' outlook?, which she would never admit to me), or my helping her with food, massage, and information. But, things seem to be working, and I am thankful for it.

Hi Guys

hmmm, no women have commented
Maybe it's not my business to increase my wife's sex drive. I've been struggling with this for years. If I want to increase her sex drive, it's so I can have more sex. That is self serving and frustrating. If increasing her sex drive is my focus, I'm on the road to Hell.
I think John G is on the right track. He doesn't know why they're having more sex and he's showing her love.
Emerson, there are two more important questions, "Do I want to be in a loving relationship with this woman?" and if so, "How can I be better at communicating my love for her, so that she really feels it?"

Hungry most of the time

Ya know that road to Hell I mentioned? I've been wandering that path, wanking weekly, using porn daily, feeling entitled... I fuck my wife once a week. She agrees to this to keep the peace. I have become the man I never wanted to be. Ready, again, for something new.

I am a woman!

The post my husband and I wrote regarding warm-up, is the best step towards communicating love for her. Women also have been conditioned to feel like they don't need this type of affection before sex, but we do. Once we experience it then our sense of safety starts to feel like a healthy attachment that can manifest into the loving feeling that is deeply felt. By deeply felt I mean the inner core of our spiritual self. In turn, this allows us to be receptive to the loving male energy and this opens up a field of all possibilities, including increased sex drive. Yummy! Also, slowing down and putting your focus on quality, not quantity helps too.

re-reading Slow Sex

I am finding it more interesting now. I don't think my wife will go for it but I will ask her to read the first 3 chapters. I think that clitoral stimulation can be THE key to waking up a low drive woman.

Rachel has said that breasts were the key for her. And maybe for some women they are. My wife is very "breast defensive" so there must be a lot of locked up energy there...

I find it very difficult to "help" her -- I don't want to pressure her, and she seems fine as things are.

Breast Stimulation

Emerson has your wife always been like that about her breasts were she doesn’t enjoy any stimulation? Will she communicate to you what she doesn’t enjoy or how she feels when they are stimulated?

My girlfriend is very much like Rachel in that she really enjoys breast stimulation. This is especially true when we start. She is actually turned off if I start straight for her clit; in the past I have gone straight for home and it wasn’t well received. I typically start in kissing her and then gently circling her breasts lightly with my fingertips or the back of my hand. Then move on to oral stimulation of her breasts. By that time she is totally receptive and wet for entry.

I wouldn’t say that she likes breast stimulation better than PIV or oral clitoral stimulation but for my girlfriend it seems to be as important a component as other direct stimulation. If she is close to the edge any amount of breast stimulation will send her over it easily. We have discussed this before and she says it’s like a direct connection from her breasts downward. She also said my attention to her breasts make her feel very feminine and womanly. I told her I wasn’t sure I really understand, she said it was a girl thing. The only downside for her on breast stimulation is her nipples do get sore after awhile, especially if she orgasms.

I hope your wife will open up and allow some breast stimulation. I do think it fits very well with Karezza.

Wifely Fineness

My Izzy is "fine with things as they are" as long as I don't "hassle" her for sex.
I am seeking my own Fineness.

Let's not forget: "How are you?"
code for Freaked-out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Evasive.

It's not applicable to this conversation, but I think it's funny. Pardon my stream of consciousness sharing.

Not a solution I'd recommend, but maybe this belongs here

A Pill to Boost Female Libido

A federal advisory panel has recommended that the Food and Drug Administration approve the first drug to treat a lack of sexual desire in otherwise healthy women. Some women’s groups are hailing this as a breakthrough in gender equality, a start to closing the gap between men, who have numerous drugs to treat sexual dysfunction, and women, who have none. But the panel’s recommendation was laced with so many caveats that it seems clear that this particular drug — flibanserin — is only marginally effective and carries some risk of serious adverse effects.

The drug, made by Sprout Pharmaceuticals of Raleigh, N.C., changes the levels of three chemicals in the brain in ways that are supposed to increase the sex drive of premenopausal women suffering from a loss of libido. The drug has been rejected twice by the F.D.A. — in 2010, after an earlier advisory committee recommended unanimously against approval, and in 2013, when the agency said Sprout would have to perform more studies to show that the benefits outweigh the risks.

This time the company returned with additional clinical data and a lot of powerful testimony from women who described how loss of libido was threatening their marriages, ruining their lives and causing them deep distress. The panel recommended approval by an 18-6 vote, driven primarily by recognition that women who could benefit from the drug might be reluctant to take it unless it had regulatory approval. The panelists recommending approval urged that steps be taken to limit the risks, such as requiring doctors to be certified to prescribe the drug and requiring them to inform patients of potential side effects.

In three new clinical trials conducted by the company, the benefits of the drug, a pink pill taken once a day at bedtime, were modest. Women who took flibanserin, for example, reported having one more sexually satisfying event per month than women who got a placebo. The potential side effects, though relatively rare, included low blood pressure, fainting, dizziness, and sleepiness, which could cause accidents under certain circumstances.

The long-term health risks are largely unknown because the clinical studies were too short to estimate long-term risks. A study in mice suggested that flibanserin may increase the risk of breast cancer, an outcome that will have to be monitored closely after the drug is on the market. Potential interactions between flibanserin and alcohol or other drugs are believed to amplify the adverse effects. A small study of the interaction between alcohol and flibanserin in 25 moderate drinkers found that four suffered severe side effects requiring medical intervention. Incredibly, 23 of the 25 subjects were male and only two were female, so the study did not clearly characterize the risks to women.

The advisory committee’s recommendation was applauded by Even the Score, a coalition of women’s groups and other organizations which is supported by Sprout, but the move was deplored by the National Women’s Health Network, which complained that Sprout had not provided enough data for women to make an informed decision. The F.D.A. should only approve the drug if strong measures are taken to reduce safety concerns.



"Incredibly, 23 of the 25 subjects were male and only two were female,"

A drug just for women is tested mostly on men???

i think

i think to help increase sex drive for a woman or her libido... try earning more money and have lots of cash.. its an aphrodisiac

From Sender

Sender said, "I have also found that (at least as far as my woman goes) the best way for me to have a positive influence on her sex drive is to not attempt (in any way) to have any influence over her sex drive. In other words, any form of sexual manipulation, conscious or otherwise, will always backfire and produce the opposite result."


As all have said, there's not much you can do to "change" her side of the equation, but on your side, maybe there are things to learn or grow from:

- Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself spiritually clear and bright
- Read poetry for your own benefit; maybe you'll find some you want to share with her
(I like to browse )
- Make sure you're dealing with whatever fears or insecurities you may have at their root, not using sex as a comfort/escape from them
- Bonding behaviors with no expectations
- When you think of sex, try to think mainly in terms of generosity, giving, ministering healing to her
- Endeavor to circulate your extra sexual energy and recycle it as love, courage, and initiative to give gifts to her and the world
- Try sending loving thoughts to her breasts; let them know you care about them so much and that you're available and listening. Let them know they can trust you and feel safe with you.