the "old member" reunion thread - please tell us how you are doing if you've been here a long time

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Lots of folks here helped me. When I started here, I went back and read virtually every old post, multiple times.

It's been awesome ever since, but I know that what happens to most people in this "community" is they graduate and move on.

Mostly because this type of sex just becomes the way you do things in your life. There is not much to improve on and no reason to keep visiting.

But I think most of the "old" members do return here from time to time.

I'd love to hear from you, you know who you are.

Anyone who has been on here for 3 or 4 years or more, I'd love to see where you are at and what your journey has been like.

I'll start. Mine is very stable. My wife doesn't enjoy sex much, we have intercourse about 4 times a week, Karezza, and it is wonderful for me. I have gotten mostly over the "why doesn't she like sex the way I do", I continue to hope she'll want to, but she is satisfied with this level of things for her and isn't interested in focusing on sex in her world. 

So now, what has your journey been like?

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Same for Me

emerson, my experience with my wife is exactly the same as your experience with your wife. But, all is fine and both of us are content. And, I hear fewer requests for ‘normal’ sex, nowadays. I appreciate my good fortune.

Better than ever!

As someone who experienced incredible difficulties at first in resisting climaxing, I can now say (eleven years on!!!) that this urge is almost wholly tamed; and the net result has been pleasure for both my wife and myself that is off the scale. We haven’t knowingly graduated to ‘’energy sex’’, but we are finding less overt movement can bring extraordinary sensations in its wake. A certain intensity has to be present, but not necessarily much friction.

I am glad to say my wife is fully on board (without our having ever really discussed it) and the learning process continues.

Well, Emerson...looks like

Well, Emerson...looks like you holding the torch for the karezza alumni. It is interesting that this was such an active forum for a number of years there and now its rather quite overall.

As for myself, yes, karezza style sex is just what I do....like is there another kind??!! With that said, I do find I am exploring new territory with karezza sex as the base line. The connection through karezza grounding the root and heart as an foundational springboard to spiritual/metaphysical realms. We’re exploring sex as a portal to other dimensions.....how about that for woowoo language!

Greetings fellow “Seasoned Members!”

Hope everyone is doing well during this Holiday season. My lovely wife and I are still doing well with our version of male based Karezza. We have always focused on maximizing pleasure for each other and my wife remains multi-orgasmic (think Energizer Bunny) while I avoid orgasm at all costs because the hangover effects impact me severely.

We still engage in lots of other activities besides Karezza but truly nothing compares to the Bio-energy exchange that occurs during the slow, prolonged wet PIV connection. We have engaged in this way for so long it has become automatic for us and the benefits have been so profound there is no going back.

I log on to the site infrequently to see if there have been any developments in understanding of the biochemistry in order to better understand why my wife can have orgasms with seemingly no detrimental effects while I am a “one and done” with significant hangover effects.

We continue to be amazed at the magnitude of energy exchange that occurs between us with very little friction and ever more subtle movement during full wet PIV. You learn after a time that it is all about managing and moving energy back and forth between you, and the more you can slow down and savor the experience the further you can go. Delicious in a way I cannot put to words.

hi from an old person

Hi... I feel weird even posting here. I'm in such a different place now than I was when I was posting back in the day.

I updated Marnia a little bit at some point. I've been homebound and super disabled for six years. I had 4 years that were extremely awful but the last 2 years have been way better because some things finally got figured out and worked out.

(I don't really want to get into the details and I don't want any health recommendations.)

Slow/sacred sexuality is still really important to me. I was kind of avoidant about even wanting updates on the people I used to talk to here because I didn't want to find out that they had moved on and stopped doing it. It's good to see a few familiar names.

I had a partner in 2012 for this but no one since then. I had a regular relationship in 2014 but he wasn't into it. I don't think I'll bother getting into any other relationships that aren't based around slow/sacred sexuality.

Thanks for popping in

Sorry you've had such a steep climb, and I'm glad to hear things are leveling out. Are you back in school? Working? Still figuring out what's next?

Yes, the current climate for sexuality isn't...ideal for karezza Lol Or maybe it is. Maybe this is one of those situations where things have to get radically worse before people realize the standard sexology advice is badly hurting them.

BTW, this forum is pretty moribund...which is mostly my fault. But reddit/karezza is more active. Do you follow it?

Hope you find a willing partner. I know a great guy who lives in Portland, OR who's open to the ideas. Let me know if you have moved. Wink

Take good care!

haven't moved

I'm still in Smalltown, TX but I keep in touch with people all over. So I'd be interested in "meeting" your friend. I'll check out the subreddit.

Moribund

I wonder why there are far fewer posts here these days than in the past? I’m eternally grateful for being active when so much was going on and so many insights were being shared.

I did pop over to look at Reddit/Karezza but I couldn’t summon the enthusiasm to register and join in. It seemed such a a sparse environment by comparison; but maybe that was just me not wanting to make the effort to forge new links.

You're all wonderful

and I've been so grateful to all of you over the years...for your courage and candor. Alas, the creation of YBOP to help the porn-afflicted not only made it wise for me to keep my head down (the stories I could tell...), but has also absorbed most of my energy.

I keep thinking that one of these days the time will be right to redo this website and fire things up. But the gong hasn't sounded yet. Sad, because I strongly believe that for recoovering men with partners karezza is an especially helpful technique. And and can lead to all kinds of interesting discoveries...as you say.

 

im still here

Hi Guys! Hi Marnia. Saw this post! im still here! I think ive been a member for like 8 years now or something! Damn - the time flys. Im single right now. i had my first sexual experience with a guy about a year ago. We were together for 5 months, I enjoyed being with him.

Im currently working on having healthy boundaries, and staying present. The need to have a consistent meditation practice and or do some cognitive behavioral therapy seems to be an ongoing theme for me.

Marnia introduced me to the iching a couple of years ago and Ive been incorporating it into my life . Its been an interesting journey - learning how to trust something outside of myself. For the last month Ive been very triggered by a man I work with. Im struggling with my feelings for him vs the rational truth about him which is that he's unavailable. He has been very flirty at work /has showed clear interest and it has been hard for me to put up emotional boundaries with him.

I asked the iching if he was a good partner for me about a month ago and i got the following rather harsh response "to submit to insult is to invite injury" I didn't believe it but now i'm starting to see that its right which has been both upsetting and sobering. last night i was in bed crying over this and I was asking for guidance and I saw an image of myself driving to a slaa meeting, which didnt sit well with my ego AT ALL.

As far as the whole theme of this website goes, I do still have the desire to be with someone sexually conscious and aware/open to karezza. Ive incorporated the principals of this website into my life as much as i can. I still try to limit masturbation and orgasm as much as possible and i'm pretty good at it. Overall, I do feel that my addictive tendencies/behaviors have have decreased substantially over the last 10 years or so.

Thanks for checking in

Honestly, the dating environment is pretty shakey out there right now. I hear heartfelt complaints from both men and women. So whatever you do, don't blame yourself. Just work on other aspects of your life for now, and stay open to finding someone with their head screwed on straight. Mosking

Good job not taking the wrong "bait" when it was offered. That is so difficult to do when you feel very attracted and really want a companion.

Here's to a better 2019 for you!Kiss 3

Still single as always. I’m

Still single as always. I’m in my mid-20’s now. I sometimes wonder what sex really feels like. I would like to focus on other aspects on my life, but it’s hard when I’m still young and therefore lust arises easily.

Tried it all. Online dating,

Tried it all. Online dating, tinder, going to bars, going to meetups, introducing through friends, just talking to random women in random places. 99% of women aren’t interested, and with the 1% who might be interested, we never have an emotional connection, so the first date is usually quite awkward. I have courage, but I have no experience, so everything I do is very clumsy and I think puts the woman off (especially as i’m in my mid-20’s. My lack of experience seems to be a big problem for women).

Single young women in my country almost always just stay at home during their free time or keep to their own groups of women, and only meet men in the bar or online (two places where I have a disadvantage, as I don’t believe i’m particularly handsome - i’ve never had a match online), so it is very unlikely that we would share common activities or interests anyway.

That is actually a good idea.

That is actually a good idea. Looking back, most of the women I have dated is because a female friend introduced us. The only problem is that the women they introduce is always the best friend of the female friend who can’t get any dates herself (quite unattractive). I don’t want to be rude because I can’t find dates either, but the female friend or any woman in general always do this. Even my own mother recommends women or tries to get me to date women who to me are very unattractive (she says fat women have better personalities, or because I’m a slim guy, I should find a bigger woman. She is crazy!).

I try to get to know women but we never have anything in common. Women in my area don’t do anything but watch tv, drink and go to work. My ideal wife wouldn’t be like that, and it shows because we have nothing to talk about and we can never progress past small talk.

I know it's challenging to spend time

with people you don't find "hot," but if you can bring some sunshine into the life of a woman who is not attractive to you, you will find it easier to turn on the same charm when you meet someone you like.

Also, early on make it clear that you see these initial women as "friends" whom you respect and care about, and spend time with them. That's a good way to meet their friends in a non-threatening way.

The problem with too much solo sex is that you mistakenly begin to believe that you are "self-sufficient" and that your "needs" have been met. You have no idea what you are missing in terms of trusted companionship and regular affectionate touch.

It's likely that it feels like too much bother to cultivate relationships with people you don't want to have sex with. Seems "logical." But it's your "tribe" who is your best bet for finding a compatible partner, so cultivating a tribe is not time wasted even if you see no immediate propects for getting off.

Also, as you get to know people, you see more of who they really are. You begin to realize which ones can further your life's work.

You may imagine (now) that you're "lowering your standards" *gasp* by spending time with women you don't want to bed, but actually, you're expanding your perception of your fellow humans.

Moreover, we all tend to get back what we give out. So if you give out "willingness to see past the superficial," you are likely to attract more of that from potential mates. As you say you are not drop-dead handsome, this will benefit you.

Best of all, there's no downside from experimenting with these ideas. You simply have to get off your butt, smile, become an "active listener," and try to see the best in those you meet regardless of whether they inspire an immediate erection. I-m so happy

Hey Marnia, I appreciate you

Hey Marnia, I appreciate you continuing this conversation - I don’t have usually an opportunity to talk with such a wise woman in this regard, so I’m making the most of it if you don’t mind :P

Actually, I used to think like this a while ago. There was a woman the same age as me I met a few years ago. We got along so well. She wasn’t the usual local woman who works in the city and likes to drink and go shopping (not that there’s anything wrong with that, just making observations). She came from a farm and was a very simple (in character, not intellect) and feminine woman, also very clever. She knew all the names of the flowers and birds. I found her personality so attractive. But she was also very plain. Her appearance was not my type at all.

She obviously liked me, and we started dating, because I thought similar to you. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I thought why not ‘practice’ with her, make her happy, and then move on to prettier women in the future. Like in a computer game, the character starts off with the easy levels, gains experience and only at the end is the final level (meeting the ideal wife type of woman).

But as we got closer and she became really attached to me and started texting me all the time and started worrying about me when I didn’t text her back soon enough. On the dates, we would go to secluded spots (on her initiative) and I could tell she really wanted me to kiss her. But how could I look into her eyes and give her this insincere intimacy - how could I look at her with a straight face and lie to her saying I think she’s beautiful?
Of course I could never tell her the truth, that I was only using her to gain valuable experience with women, which would be very insensitive. But I started to be concerned for her and I thought she deserved better than my insincere lying. She would sometimes ask me what about her appearance I thought was attractive, and I would have to tell her a few half-truths but mostly lies. Each day that passed, she was becoming even more attached to me. It was really unenjoyable and I wondered if it would even be possible for me to leave her if I would one day meet a prettier woman, it would break her heart.

And of course I would like to build relationships and cultivate a close group of friends and acquaintances, as you would call a tribe. But I wouldn’t like to be thought of as the sort of man who just stays with a woman until a prettier woman walks by. Even if I was clever about it, I’m sure women are smart enough to recognise it and would gossip about it to the other women.

Perhaps I misunderstand you and you say just be friends with women and men regardless of their appearance, but of course I do that anyway. It would be awfully shallow of anyone to restrict their friends only to whom they deem attractive by appearance or otherwise. But actually becoming friends is not up to me alone - it all depends upon whether we have a mutual connection, same with relationships.

I appreciate that you're honestly trying to figure this out

and I wish I had fool-proof answers for you.

In the situation you describe with the young woman, you sensed what was right. She was genuine and apparently sincerely liked you. You also sensed what was wrong: you were using someone with a bit of deception (although self-deception on her part was also present). Almost all of us do something less than noble (or are on the receiving end of same) while negotiating the many hazards of dating and mating.Pardon

It's tricky to build friendships among mating-age men and women, but it can be done...sometimes. It requires careful, thoughtful steering. "I'm so glad to have a friend like you." "I admire X about you. I wish I had romantic feelings for you." "Should I introduce you to some of my friends who are looking for girlfriends?" I'm sure you can think of more face-saving versions of some of those.

Moving to a more meta level, I can't help observing that, eventually, we all end up "less than attractive" by virtue of age (although we can remain "adorable" to each other with enough bonding behaviors). So if you want a life-companion it's well to choose based on personality and the degree to which you think that other person is capable of "having your back," nurturing you, furthering your life's work, and appreciating your efforts and good points, rather than on looks.

A couple more thoughts:

Sometimes too much focus on looks can indicate low self-esteem...and a belief that your mate choice is a way to higher status (self-esteem). If so, it's best to work on increasing your self-esteem before selecting a mate. Otherwise you're building on a crumbly foundation. Self-esteem deficits aren't repaired externally. They require inner work.

Too much focus on looks can also simply be a product of too much porn use. Some 60 studies show porn use correlated with decreased relationship and sexual satisfaction. I'm not saying that's the case for you, just that there's a lot of research piling up that correlates those things. As porn use is ubiquitous in today's young men, it's very difficult for them to move beyond comparing partners to porn actresses (and other arousing media images).

The curious thing is that many guys who quit porn report that their taste in women actually shifts. In other words, their tastes were "conditioned" by porn, and they don't know what their true tastes are until after they have unhooked for months. See Guys Who Gave Up Porn: On Sex and Romance. It's like switching from a junk food diet to paleo. At first you'd kill for your favorite carbs, but eventually you genuinely prefer your favorite salad to your former favorite snacks. Magic, but perfectly naturally once you understand how the appetite mechanisms in the brain work in the face of supernormal stimuli.

All this said, I think your generation is up against a major challenge, and I don't see a pain-free way to turn it aound...if a way exists at all. In my view, many (most?) of you are suffering from the fallout from The Digital Age. Rates of partnered sex are plummeting, and the social milieu that used to help mates find and remain with each other (and model more or less healthy pair bonds) is disintegrating. This has been going on for a century, and it's a downward spiral. At the same time, digital enticements are becoming more potent. I suspect your plight is a common one, and I'm not naively suggesting there's an easy way out.

That said, you are not a statistic; you are an individual. If you hold a clear vision of a healthy relationship and stay willing to persist, shift your other perceptions and priorities...and get out of your comfort zone, there is hope. Personally, I'm a lot more effective and centered when in a loving relationship. I hope you have a chance to compare the two lifestyles as well.

If not, there are other paths to relative contentment while hanging around on this planet. There are even traditional exercises for men who choose celibacy, or who are temporarily celibate: Energy Circulation Practices. These help ease the "lust" you complained of.

Whatever path you choose, realize that the obstacle you're hitting is bigger than you. It's shaping an entire generation around the globe. Keep a sense of humor!

Thanks again Marnia

I read what you said about looks and I agree. However, what are your thoughts in regards to women’s views on appearance, if you don’t mind me asking? I know you had an article saying that using vibrators makes women more picky if I remember correctly, but I don’t think more than a small minority of women use vibrators (or maybe I’m just ignorant). However, I’m sure you are aware of the famous okcupid study a few years ago, where they found that women considered the appearance of 80% of men to be unattractive. I don’t think the women of the past differ from the women of the present day, only that women of the present day have now more freedom to be picky and have more time to wait to find the most attractive male.

About dating in this generation- wouldn’t you say things are becoming more natural perhaps? Until relatively recently in human history, the parents would find a partner for the son or daughter and they would marry if it was their parents wishes. Even a few decades ago when people marrying for love became normal around the world, women and men still did what society expected, and being single after your 20’s would have been thought badly of for both men and women. But these days being single at any age isn’t looked down upon and people are much freer to do as they please. I used to live with a few friends who were in their mid 30’s, and they had girlfriends who were in their early 20’s. Perhaps humans really are more like apes where only the dominant older males get all the females?

Have you read my book?

I'm not saying you should, but I think you would know my answer to this if you had. Briefly, I think there's a delicate balance between humanity's biological programming for "spreading genes" and its programming for "forming healthy pair bonds."

I think our current environment is pushing us rapidly away from the latter (which is apparently best for our offspring's chances). This "skew" also affects our perception of which partners are attractive. (Environments of the past have pushed humans one way or the other on this spectrum as well. And a few cultures actually uncovered the potential for improving our perception of potential mates via careful use of sexual energy...as I recount in my book.)

But even in an unfavorable environment such as our modern one, by choosing careful cultivation of sexual energy, we can choose to alter our perception of our partners, such that it is easier to form contented pair bonds.

Our perception is always colored by the choices we make, and perhaps especially by our sexual management choices. This is what we haven't understood well.

That said, I also think that a deteriorating situation may have long-term benefits...such as getting humanity's attention. We'll see.

lack of experience

Yuuichi - dont be discouraged. I guarantee that there will be a woman out there who appreciates that you have what you refer to as a "lack of experience". No amount of experience trumps heart felt sex with the right person. My ex was 37 when we dated and he had only had one brief sexual encounter before we met. The right person will love you regardless of your sexual history.

-

i "lost" my virginity at 29 Wink
i regret having spent some years channeling my sexual energy into porn and masturbation
one thinks frequently about the question "it is not odd i am still single and virgin with this age?" , " is something weird about me ?", but after sometime i was looking at myself as a real catch and laughing for being such a great single guy.

i was happy and content just to be blessed by feminine energy around me, soaking up their energy as an enlivening energy. I still do it ! (my partner does not know ahaha)

then i met my partner Wink and the thought about what sex is like went away, because i tasted it :)

Losing one's virginity helps one to stop feeling this peer pressure, but as one rebuilds one's vision of sex to cope with sexual energy and frustration one learns that sex is mostly to give and share, and receive with gratitude.
Or at least it should be more often.

now, i am pretty confident that i would live happily even if without sex or a partner
I don't desire this, as it adds richness to both our lives
but it would be fine !

-

i cut off porn and masturbation two years ago
I found my partner one and half year after leaving PMO

We are trying to practice Karezza, but our arousal makes it difficult sometimes Wink
I find that when i consciously decide to let go and have ejaculatory orgasms, i don't criticize myself so much as when i fall off the edge trying karezza

Not ejaculating allows me to conserve more sexual energy and to feel constantly willing to touch my partner, tease her, flirt with her. I think this is healthy for me and her - as she is feeling my attraction for her in a more consistent, sometimes annoying, basis Wink

I think there is so much to learn around sex !

Catching up

Hi Emerson, and all,

Wow what a ride the last years have been. Some will remember my blog writeups here during 2012-13. The partner who was the co-subject of those stories and i have since separated, some two years ago. This was an interesting turn of events, that is not so easy to describe. I woke up one day and realized what others had been telling me for years, that we were just not meant to be together. Different priorities. The gifts that Karezza brought that relationship allowed us to function as a couple, where we would have long split up. But maybe it also brought us, well for me anyway, closer to myself, closer to my truth.

Afterwards i spent time learning yoga, and traveling. At a personal development workshop in europe i met a woman who was just so different from my usual choice of partner. This time i was ready for an adult relationship, with less wounded child in the mix. (Well actually there was one other partner in between who really crystallized this whole dysfunctional phenomenon so clearly to me for which im ever grateful.).

This new relationship, (about 6 months in now) was built from the ground up around slow sex. And with it has been this steady exploration, learning and quite radical healing. We make love each day, and its an incredible anchor in our relationship. Its also a magnifying glass that shows us how we are, where we each are in terms of "am i near to or over my capacity to be intimate".

Theres lots more to say, but... weve been reading (finally the last unread book of Diana's) love letters and in one letter a guy is reflecting on, after moving on from a much loved but reluctant partner, to finding new love, about how all women are just so sweet. Sometimes we just need to get a little self honesty about our attachment and codependency. I do believe that is so true.

I look around the streets now, especially here in europe, and see for the most part the walking dead. There is so much anxiety in the faces of people, when you know how to look for it by wading through my own. People are literally willing to die before they will let go, heal and truly connect with others. Karezza is both a pathway to and the result of that desire to profoundly connect.

Best wishes Karezza ites.

you have no idea how often I thought of your posts

I am so grateful that you return.

I was thinking, I wonder how Treehouse is doing.

I sort of thought you would not be with your former girlfriend anymore. Not sure why I thought that. But totally happy for you and so thrilled that you are continuing this wonderful journey. Your posts have always been most informative and helpful.

Man, talk about walking dead. I'm in the USA. And it's pretty much the same thing. People just live in a life of never having enough and what they do have is really horrific due to porn and masturbation. 

It's the end of life as we used to know it. Nobody is talking about the problem except here.

Keep posting Treehouse! I love your posts!!

 

Thanks for checking in

Good to hear of your explorations. Your new companion sounds very promising.

Yes, anxiety levels are rising. Karezza can definitely help, but even since I wrote it, the sexual/relationship environment is becoming ever more challenging to navigate.

And the one thing "everyone" can agree on is orgasm. As a tatnra-teaching friend just wrote:

When I see the faces of people when I introduce the idea that sex without orgasm is the direction where my classes are going, the classes they just registered for, it says everything. Wink Shock, disbelief, confusion, etc. How could anyone dispute the importance and necessity of orgasms??? Wink Seems to me, in one’s genes, orgasms are more sacred than God.

That said, never give up!

I posted my update a month or

I posted my update a month or two ago, but I thought it might be nice to cross post here:

I'm updating to say that things are going really well in our 18-year relationship. Patience and communication are paying off, after about five years of me being interested in karezza and him not being "there" yet.

My title refers to Penelope and Odysseus' bed, built on the stump of an olive tree, which symbolizes peace. How's that for peace between the sheets?!

In the last year and a half my Odysseus was able to notice that post-orgasm, he would fall into monstrous anxiety. Once he was on board with the theory and had tasted the delicious karezza difference, It took about a year to get past a stage where he was extremely prone to mental overheating. He has the physical control and knowledge of himself to keep from going over the edge, but once he's ramped up to a certain point, he was basically sex crazed until he did come.

Eventually I told him, if you stay at a 5 or 6, it's fun and you don't feel driven to go over the edge, but if you go to 9, there's no good way to put on the brakes. Somehow he connected with that.

Also, we figured out how to make time regularly by setting the alarm an hour early and sleepily hooking up most mornings. We're not good with complicated schedules, so it helps that it's a habit we don't have to think about or carve out time for. It's the perfect way to spend that sleepy don't-wanna-get-out-of-bed-yet time! Plus, from my point of view, (with plenty of kids in the house), I'm worn out at bedtime. Night sex seems like a chore, but morning sex paves the way for a great day!!!! I think it's comforting for him to count on the nourishing connection, frequently.

I think exercise helps so many things; I think it has helped him with karezza and vice versa.

I'm thankful to you all. This forum has been a source of inspiration, wisdom, and sustaining hope. I look forward to exploring more and more of the wonders you karezzanauts have described!

Update: Really, so many times a peek at this forum helped me refresh my hope, patience and resolve to keep trying to find this karezza equilibrium in our relationship. Thank you all for sharing your experiences.

:)

I came to Marnia’s work with Healing Relationships because I was not happy in our marriage. I was pursuing orgasmic sex as a Band Aid to cover poorly integrated childhood issues. Orgasmic sex with my Isadora was my drug and she was tired of being used. I wanted to find a way to have more sex with her. Karezza proved to be more than that as an awaking for me. Marnia and Gary’s good work and Marnia’s intelligent, compassionate, consistent presence here at Reuniting helped me to see another way to be. My time with Izzy is more open and much less needy. I turn my attention away from ruminating over problems…mountains out of mole hills. I am much more skilled in relating to her in present time. Orgasm has become a useful drug in my medicine bag. I believe I am no longer inslaved to it.

Making Love, What's That?

We last had a bit of PIV sex about a month ago and we both orgasmed. 1-3 times per month we lay together where I hold her, caress and kiss her with love, adoration and gratitude. She does not reciprocate. I would not be able to hold her in that way without y'all educating me about karezza.

About to celebrate 25 years of marriage

I initially arrived here looking for a solution to a problem: how to reboot from porn without leaving my wife "high and dry". Although I'm not happy that I became addicted to porn, I wouldn't have found or likely accepted Karezza otherwise.

My wife took to the idea immediately. Although there were some instant benefits, it took us about a year of struggle and practice to get the hang of it.

Now, 5 years later, we are constantly amazed that each time we have sex, it is unique and different. There is creative play and a deeply satisfying connection that comes from being really present in the moment (it used to be quick, repetitive and boring - like a chore). We talk to each other and joke around, try all kinds of positions, go faster or slower just depending on what's happening in that moment. We both really enjoy foreplay as well, full-on oral from her (we both really like it and I have no problem there as far as "going over"), and something more full body from me with a moderate focus on breast-play. Going down on her is something I really don't want to give up, but I have to tread lightly as she can't take much of that without overheating.

Our sessions can last as long as 3 hours but rarely wind up being less than an hour. The warm, sexy feelings carry over well into the next day.

We tend to run pretty hot, often reaching 8 or 9. Orgasms do happen on occasion; more for me than her. In my case, I probably go over once every 2-3 months. My recovery is a lot quicker and easier than hers though. I'm generally ok after 3 days to a week. She can take a full 3 weeks.

We don't really fight anymore. On occasion, an emotion can run high here or there, but it is expressed (fully) then clears instead of being bottled and festering. We often comment to each other how lucky we feel, and amazed that after 25 years of marriage that we can still be infatuated with each other.

Thanks Marnia and Gary!

Thanks, but if it weren't for the work Marnia and Gary did and are doing, we'd still be doing the 7-minute sex chore twice a month. By my estimation, we're having over 50 times more sex now thanks to their work! And we are BOTH enjoying it. A LOT. But as important, we are getting along great which wasn't really happening either.

I'd say Marnia and Gary's impact is a really big achievement!