pressure to have an orgasm

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Submitted by emerson on
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I noticed today my lovely partner got aroused after a bit and was going for orgasm but didn't have one. She said she had fantasized during this time when she was having intercourse with me but didn't feel like having an orgasm. We're around day 28 for her since the last one. I asked her why she didn't and she said for some reason she didn't feel like it at some level.

I offered to help her out and she declined. I noticed a bit of a feeling of regret on my part, regretting that she didn't come even though in my heart I think that's better really.

At some level I get the pressure to come --- it indicates that you satisfied your partner. Not coming is a bit difficult given this "pressure".

We cuddled for a bit and she seems quite happy and I'm quite happy.

I almost came but didn't, as I opened my eyes wide and stared at the ceiling and smiled and that stopped the impending orgasm. I am far happier not having orgasms. I am having the best time of my life in every way, real balance, and although an orgasm isn't going to end the world, I really don't want one.

 

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yep

no substitute for just doing and being and experiencing. Time flows by and we experience and we learn. It's amazing how much we've progressed together and how we continue to learn.

If school had been this much fun I'd have stayed in school.

Based on what I've read, that

Based on what I've read, that pressure you felt was probably just leftovers of established behaviors. I think it says a lot about your progress that you were able to stop and enjoy.

It shows a lot of control :)

yes it was

just leftovers, that little bit of disappointment. I'm really happy she didn't orgasm really, although part of me, the "old" part, still loves it. So now I know how she feels/felt when I said "I'm not going to come."

We speak as if "I gave her an orgasm" which makes no sense. And we think we have something to do with it LOL.

I don't know where that control comes from but I have it in most of my life, pretty much all of it. Today when I entered her, the feeling was so sublime, it is just indescribable. And afterwards when I looked into her eyes and we just stared into each others eyes, it is again, just impossible to describe.

This is why it doesn't take a lot of control really. The payoff is so enormous.