A rare fight

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Submitted by emerson on
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So we haven't had intercourse for three days now and Sparkles has been in a very bad mood. Not sure if it's work related or just what it is. She has always had these moods and I guess now is one of them.

I cuddled with her last night and then she said that she hadn't really wanted to cuddle. But did it so I wouldn't get mad. I got mad at that point because I'm constantly the initiator of physical affection of any kind in our relationship and that has become wearying.

This was almost midnight and I should have gone downstairs and hit the mattress and discharged some of these difficult angry feelings but I didn't.

It's weird though. The time I'm not initiating intercourse is the time she gets all moody and upset. Is this just coincidence? This is the first time we haven't had intercourse in three days since we started this Karezza adventure actually.

This morning she is quite angry with me and we hardly exchange a word. Very unusual for us.

I guess this is part of the process. She has to find her own way and separate from my pressure -- pressure for physical closeness as well as pressure for intercourse. There has to be an adjustment. It is strange and different.

I suppose it's all part of the adventure. Sigh.

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Is she beyond

the passion cycle? How close did you get her to orgasm in the meantime?

Shows how powerful daily intimacy is. We really miss it when it's not there...and yet we all tend to take for granted that our moods are totally unrelated.

yeppers, here's where we're at

I am leaving it up to Sparkles what to do. We talked things through hugged and kissed and it's all fine now. She is going to initiate whatever she wants and I'm leaving it to her entirely. Not just the sex but cuddling or hugging. In a loving way, not in a tit for tat way. I think it's really important to give her whatever space she wants and see what she wants to do. We'll see where she wants to take the boat and she'll let me know where to pilot.

I think it's great. What a relief for me to not be pushing anymore. It took this big blow-up for me to really get it, and it took not having any sex either. There's plenty of time, the whole rest of life so no rush.

The ease of getting through this was because we've had so much bonding already. It just wasn't much of an argument or anything in the light of day. It's amazing how little there is to argue or fight about anyway, really nothing, when you are this close and bonding like this.

I think you're doing great

I think you're doing great Emerson. I believe this has needed to happen and will transform into something quite positive. I think a lot of what happens in a relationship is like a play built for two. We each play a role in the script we have a agreed on and when someone decides to rewrite the story things can move into turmoil for a bit. Stay the course, I think you're right on track.

I think so too, Darryl

thank you for taking the time to comment.

I think this is exactly what the doctor ordered. I like your play-for-two analogy, it is kind of like that. I am staying on track for sure. It's easy, I've been on the other track, it was the right one for then, this is the right one now. We've evolved :)