thawing continues

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Submitted by emerson on
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Although for my beloved partner, it's mostly non-orgasmic most of the time, lately that's changed and she is having orgasms more frequently. She had two orgasms in quick succession today. That hasn't happened for a long time. 

Most of our sex is Karezza, and for me, I continue on this path of loving non orgasmic sex. For her, she is enjoying the new space she is discovering and her sexual intensity is increasing. I think this is very healthy for her as she is doing her own thing instead of whatever I have on the menu.

And it's a little more challenging for me as well. I am more aware of her increased sexual energy and it charges me up more. I am learning how to bask in this increased intensity that I'm not used to. Thank you Darryl for commenting on this.

 

It's really quite amazing to behold. I find her becoming more sexually responsive more often now, in fact quite frequently, and evidence is that this is increasing.

I am excited to see where this all goes. It seems that a period of her having orgasms is important to us on this path.

 

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It may well be

for some people. All you can do is trust the process and hold your space.

Thanks for sharing. The more "lab reports" the more easily others can chart their courses!

Over the moon

I read about your 'quiet breakthrough' while away and it really made me glad. You can justifiably feel proud of the commitment and work that you've poured into this over the months.

Isnt it strange how karezza seeps into your life. I have to say that it still makes little sense to me, except that it works. We were talking the other day, and out of the blue she volunteers how close she's been feeling to me lately. I just smiled.

We will look forward to what the outcome of sparkles O experiment is.

And THAT my friends,

is the challenge of explaining karezza to anyone. It works...but without a long explanation about bonding behaviors and oxytocin and orgasm fallout...yada, yada...it seems unbelievable...or like magic if you try it.

I think here is what happened

When I started Karezza it came at her as controlling on my part. And she withdrew, shut down. None of it conscious, or at least most of it not conscious. I was too bright a fire for her. I overwhelmed her so she couldn't start to find her own space.

So that is what is able to happen now. I'm giving her space, for real, and she feels it, for real. And she is exploring. 

I've mentioned when I started Karezza, I thought our sex life had really stagnated. I think she was having orgasms every once in awhile at that point. Now she is having more than she was then, that's for sure. She is more relaxed about sex and that is producing more orgasms now that she kind of got interested in Karezza and noticed she preferred it. LOL. 

(Most of our lovemaking is really Karezza, in fact. Still...)

Isn't this all so interesting...

I don't have any expectations for it going forward, except I know I will remain doing what I'm doing. She can do whatever she wants, for real. It's certainly fun for me, something to really enjoy.

I am sure there will be some fallout from it, but maybe not.

And if there is, we'll deal. I've dealt with it already quite a bit and it's most important to me to hold that space and let her do what she wants, with no judgment or comment or pressure of any kind. I think I'm doing that pretty well. And the intense bonding we do really helps a great deal. 

Tools

Same for me. My sweetie is so on fire sometimes I think I've died and gone to heaven. She says her battery is drained if we skip a day, so consequently, we rarely miss... The bottom line is, I'm a tool of sorts - one of those space-holding devices. She's so sexually open in her sixties, it proves that human beings have the capacity for regeneration on many levels.. It's strange to be having this much sex. I have more sex in one week now than I had in the entire eleven years of my first marriage (which averaged a whopping 5 times a year).

I have noticed something else interesting about energy. Since I've avoided E for such a long time, I can tell there are certain times when the sexual energy increase is so strong (especially around the full moon), it feels quite uncomfortable in my genital region. There is an urge to release. But I still avoid it. Long sessions of grounding with PIV does the trick, but sometimes the pressure builds again soon after. What I experienced recently though, is that refraining from M and O inevitably leads to a real perceptual shift. It started as a kind of mental awareness change, in that I can sense things that are "not there" - subtle energies, movements of fields, premonitions... Since we live in the woods, there are a lot of things happening in nature that I don't think we get to experience in the city. Maybe that's why native people talk about seeing bigfoot and fairies, little people and so on. I haven't seen them yet, but it won't surprise me if I do. Ha, we might even see Elvis one day!

that is so very cool KevinJ

what a huge difference, I just can't get over it. So great to hear. Lots of sex is great. 

I find that if I really relax my root, all is good and I don't build up that heat genitally speaking. But I imagine as my honey slowly heats up, that may change and I may find it difficult again.

I don't have anything to compare to woods-wise (hahahaha) because I'm living in the city. But I find my whole life is much improved, more relaxed and working at a higher level without orgasms/ejaculations.