We've been at this adventure for about nine months.
I've stopped worrying about my wife or her lack of libido or whatnot. That's just crazy and I finally figured out that it is totally unnecessary.
We have sex every few days and I really enjoy it more than anything. And she seems to enjoy it too.
They say "actions speak louder than words" and those are the actions. The rest is just a bunch of garbage my mind churns up and I don't have to listen.
In essence, she is teaching me to not try to work on other people. What a lesson that is. Mind my own business. I'm a huge fan of Byron Katie and as she says here:
Notice when you hurt that you are mentally out of your business.
If you're not sure, stop and ask, "Mentally, whose business am I in?"
There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's.
Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God's business.
Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor's business.
Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn? Your business.
Life is simple—it is internal.
Count, in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else's business mentally. Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion about something (aloud or silently).
Ask yourself: "Am I in their business? Did they ask me for my advice?" And more importantly, "Can I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?"
I still hope my wife can gain more of the sensations that I do but I'm no longer fixated on it.
Things have been really, really busy for me and I don't spend as much time here as I would like especially with guys with porn issues. But I will share that I have still not masturbated or looked at porn all this time, nor do I care to. If something seems a potential trigger, I look away or skip over it. I have no desire in that direction. And no desire to have an orgasm either.
Sometimes when I reflect on it, I'm mystified at how easy it has been to stop cold and really never look back. I think it's all the very strong and constant bonding my wife and I do together. I mentor a few younger guys and I have found that when I get them to do bonding with their SOs, they get incredible results not just in their sexual realm but in their business life too.
Plus, the feelings I have are so incredible that I never want to give them up. They have not worn out or fallen off. Sometimes I still want to just stare at my wife in joy and awe. It is still ecstacy to be inside her. I don't want that to ever end.